Chapter Eighteen
“Erin, are you about ready for bed?”
Hailey and Erin were sitting in the living room watching television. Although the girls had a television in their room, the living room’s screen was much larger, and leather couches provided a more comfortable place to sit for a couple hours than propping some pillows against the head of the bed, at least in Hailey’s opinion. But comfortable chairs and late hours lead to tired girls, and the show they were watching had just finished, so it seemed as good a time as any to call it a night.
“Yeah, I’m ready,” said Erin. She felt slightly nervous; in a few minutes, she’d be wetting a diaper, and for the first time in her life, it would be on purpose.
Was it, though? She really couldn’t remember when she was young enough to need diapers full time, so maybe she’d done it at some point then. But babies didn’t exactly do it on purpose, so about the only time she could possibly have done that was around when she was being potty trained. It seemed entirely possible that she may have not been as motivated as she should have been to go to the toilet on time when she was first training, but she couldn’t say for certain that she’d never done it on purpose.
Not that it mattered now. Even if she hadn’t done so as a little girl, she was going to do it tonight.
Well, maybe. She still hadn’t entirely convinced herself it was a good idea, so there was always the chance that she’d chicken out at the last minute. But she really wanted to understand Hailey, so it would be best if she tried it at least once.
Besides, what would Hailey think if I changed my mind? She might be disappointed in me.
Of course, it hadn’t been too long that she’d been worried that Hailey would be disappointed in her because she had been wetting herself. The thought was interesting; apparently living with someone who had such an odd interest really changed her perspectives on such matters.
No, not really… I’m still disappointed in myself if I have an accident. It’s something I should be able to handle at my age. This was slightly different; it would be on purpose, lending more evidence to her theory that the lack of control an accident indicated was worse than the physical effects of the accident itself. Well, I’ll find out for sure very shortly, Erin realized as she shut the bedroom door behind her and Hailey.
“Are you ready to try this?” asked Hailey.
“Ready as I’ll ever be,” replied Erin. “You’re sure this feels okay when you do it on purpose?”
“Well, I can’t speak for you, but I enjoy it. I guess you’ll find out, right?”
Erin shrugged, and both girls changed themselves into diapers for bed. Erin’s diaper wasn’t going to last very long.
“So how exactly do I do this? Do I just… start peeing?”
“Erin, it’s not that hard. In fact, it’s so easy that you can do it in your sleep!”
Erin blushed, but she also managed a slight chuckle.
“I’m sorry,” apologized Hailey. “That was in poor taste.” She glanced at Erin’s face to make sure she hadn’t offended her cousin.
“No, that’s alright, it was kind of funny. But what I mean is, do you do anything special when you use your diaper, or do you just go?”
“I pretty much just go,” explained Hailey. “You might find it easier to get started if you’re sitting down, like you’re pretending you’re sitting on the toilet.”
Erin took Hailey’s suggestion and sat on her bed, diaper clearly visible under the bottom of her pajama tops.
I can’t believe I’m doing this, thought Erin, as her body began to allow her urine to flow. It felt really odd. Certainly, she knew what it felt like to wet her pants, but she’d never actually wet a diaper when she was awake before. It was also odd to be peeing herself and not making any effort to stop it at all; in fact, she had to make a conscious effort not to stop, as her body tried to tell her that she was doing something she wasn’t supposed to be doing. She finished up, leaving a soggy diaper for Hailey to see.
“So… what’d you think?”
Erin thought about it for a moment. Now that the experience was over, she still didn’t really see the appeal. It wasn’t exactly a bad feeling to wet her diaper, and it was certainly better than wetting her panties, but she still couldn’t say she’d ever look forward to doing it the way Hailey did. Wetting herself while remaining in full control was somewhat better than wetting because she’d lost control, but she just didn’t have fun doing it.
“I don’t know, it doesn’t really seem all that much fun. I think I’ll stick to using the toilet.”
“Well, that’s your decision, and I’m fine with that. Out of curiosity, do you think you’d want to try a messy diaper?”
Erin had no doubts on this topic. “No way. I wasn’t sure about wetting, because, while I’d rather be dry, a wet diaper doesn’t feel that bad. But being messy just feels absolutely disgusting to me.”
“To each her own, I guess,” said Hailey. “I personally like the feeling, but if you don’t enjoy it, there’s not much we can do about it.”
Erin changed herself out of her wet diaper before Hailey could ask if she wanted help, and put a dry one on. She hoped this one would stay dry, but she certainly wouldn’t bet on it.
“What about you, Hailey? I just wet a diaper; did you want to do the same?”
Hailey had been planning to wait until morning, but she did need to pee before bed, and the offer was very tempting. “Well, I wasn’t really planning on it… that would mean I’d have to use two diapers tonight, and you’ve already used an extra diaper tonight. What if my mom is actually counting how often she buys diapers?”
“I doubt she’s paying that close of attention. Besides, even if she is, I haven’t had to change myself in the middle of the night for a few nights now, but she wouldn’t know that, so we’ve got some spares to work with.”
“I guess so,” admitted Hailey.
“Besides, even if she somehow figured out that more diapers were used than we were supposed to use… well, I’d tell her I was the one that used them. She expects me to be using them anyway.”
“Really? You’d do that for me?”
“It’s the least I can do for you.”
Erin thought it would be particularly odd to admit to a wetting she hadn’t committed, but Hailey deserved any help Erin could offer, so if it came down to that, admit it she would. She didn’t honestly expect that it would be a problem, though; she was telling the truth when she said that Hailey’s mother probably wouldn’t even notice an extra diaper missing.
“Well, in that case, I guess I’ll get to have an accident tonight and one tomorrow morning!” Hailey grinned. “Thanks, Erin.”
“No problem.”
Hailey made quick work of wetting and changing her diaper. It was very nice that Erin was willing to do this for her; maybe it would mean that she’d get more chances for diaper use in the future, if she didn’t have to worry about conserving the supply.
“Erin?”
“Yes?”
“Does that offer to admit to using the extra diapers only apply to tonight… or can I count on your help if I decide to use an extra diaper in the future?”
“Well, I guess I’d like you to let me know before you do, so I’m not caught off guard if your parents do figure out that there are diapers missing. But yeah, any time you want to do that, I’ll be your scapegoat.”
“Thank you, Erin.”
“Hey, it means a lot to me to get a chance to help you.”
Hailey shut off the lights and the girls climbed into bed. “Goodnight, Erin,” she said.
“Good night, Hailey.”
Hailey lay awake for nearly an hour. Between Erin’s idea to go to her secret hideout in the concrete tubes if she wanted to have an accident, and Erin’s willingness to explain missing diapers should Hailey’s mother notice, Hailey realized that she would have a great many more opportunities to have her “accidents.”
It would be a nice change of pace, anyway. She was glad for the opportunities she’d already had, and she was sure she’d continue to indulge herself with her nearly daily morning diaper wetting, but it would be fun to try her accidents in new situations.
She had to admit, though, that she was somewhat saddened that Erin didn’t enjoy the intentional diaper use. It would have been fun to have someone who had the same interest in accidents as her. Maybe Erin didn’t like it because she’d had too many legitimate accidents?
No, realized Hailey. She doesn’t like it because she’s a normal person. I’m the weird one, enjoying my use of diapers at age twelve. But it would have been really nice to find someone who’s just as weird as me.
Hailey regretted wishing that. Erin had it bad enough; she didn’t need to complicate her life more by trying to maintain a secret desire like the one Hailey harbored. Hailey should be glad that she’d found a friend who was willing to put up with her strange hobby, and who was even willing to help Hailey hide it from her parents.
And she doesn’t even have parents of her own any more. Hailey still couldn’t even begin to think what Erin’s life must be like. She seemed happy enough now that she’d become Hailey’s friend and surrogate sister, and she was warming up to her aunt and uncle. Still, did Erin think of her aunt and uncle as parents now? Or were they just more adults to her? As close as she was to Erin, Hailey was embarrassed that she didn’t know Erin’s feelings on the matter.
Of course, it would be awkward to ask. Erin was still receding into her shell when she had to think too much about her former family.
Hailey wished she could find out what was still bothering Erin. It wasn’t unexpected that she’d be a bit timid considering the circumstances of her father’s and stepmother’s recent deaths. But Hailey still felt something else was bothering Erin.
I just wish she was willing to tell me so I can help her out with whatever it is.