She got dressed, took me out to our car and drove into town. I was mortified. I made myself as small as possible so the people in the cars beside us wouldn’t see me sitting in the passenger seat dressed in a t-shirt and training pants. I couldn’t see outside the window, but I didn’t care. Presently she stopped the car and said, “Okay, Baby. We’re here. Just stay where you are. I’m coming to the other side of the car to open the door.”
She came over to my side of the car and opened the door, then unbuckled my seat belt for me. She picked me up and settled me on her hip to carry me into the restaurant. I looked up and saw the golden arches and whimpered, “Please Mommy. Not here, don’t make me go in there.”
She looked at me with determination and said, “Hush, baby. Of course we’re going in there. We’re having dinner, don’t you remember? Mommy will buy you a nice happy meal just like all the other two year olds in there. Now put your thumb in your mouth and suck it.”
I put my thumb in my mouth and she grinned broadly, saying, “See, Baby? That wasn’t so hard, was it?” She laughed as she bent down to pick me up saying, “Just suck on your thumb, Honey, and nobody will think you’re anything but another baby. If you stick your fingers out while your thumb is in your mouth, nobody will be able to see your face.”
I did as I was told, panicked at the thought that someone would recognize me.
Pauline put her hands under my armpits and hauled me out of the car seat before settling me on her hip to carry me into the restaurant. She went to the counter and ordered a quarter-pounder combo for herself and a happy meal for me while I sat on her hip in embarrassed silence sucking my thumb. All around us were mothers with small children and infants. Pauline paid for the burgers and carried me to a booth and sat me down. The table reached halfway up my chest! She told me to sit still and that she’d be back in a few minutes. She returned pushing a high chair mounted on wheels. Surely she didn’t expect me to eat in a high chair!
She bent over me and I found myself whisked into the high chair. I was seated in the high chair in full view of everyone! I looked around anxiously and discovered that no one was paying me the slightest attention. Everyone DID think I was a baby! She put the happy meal on the tray in front of me and I began to eat. When I finished I belched extravagantly, earning me a dirty look from Pauline. I looked around the table for my drink and discovered that she hadn’t ordered me one. In a quiet voice I asked Pauline if she would let me have a drink of her soda. She grinned and said that I was too small to be drinking sodas. She told me to be patient and she would get me something to drink. Pauline reached into her purse and took out a baby bottle full of formula. She said, “Here’s your ba-ba, Honey. Drink up!”
I put the nipple of the formula between my lips and began to suck on the bottle. Pauline nodded and went back to eating her dinner. I looked around the restaurant at the patrons, there was the usual assortment of workmen and teenagers, but the rest of the room was filled with mothers with their squalling brats. I looked at some of the small children and saw that Pauline had been right, they were eating happy meals! The front door opened and in walked Gina, my mistress!! I almost dropped the baby bottle in surprise. She breezed past us and went to the counter to order. I hid behind my bottle and hoped she would get her order and leave immediately. What evil fate had made her decide to have dinner here? She picked up her order and walked into the main dining area to find a table.