Fiona had had enough. She knew something was up with Julia and she wanted answers. Plus, she was not happy about being lied to. “Seriously Julia, what’s going on? You’ve been acting weird all week. The other day, when you were late to lunch, you said you were late to lunch cause of Sandy being slow with your science experiment. But 1 – I talked with Sandy and she said you were the one holding things up. And 2- You don’t have science class before lunch, you have English. Why did you lie to me?”
This one felt like a 2×4 to the head. Fiona was totally right, and Julia knew it. Julia wasn’t the type of person who lied, especially to her best friend. Suddenly the emotions of guilt and fear welled up inside of her and she started tearing up. She tried to hold it together but wasn’t doing a good job.
Fiona knew something was up, but when she saw the tears she actually felt scared for the first time. She had known, for a while, that something was going on, but it never occurred to her that what Julia was hiding might be something big, or something really bad. She was feeding off Julia’s emotions and now she too began to worry and wondered if she had made a mistake of bringing this up. But it was too late for that she realized.
Julia tied to start talking. “I know, you are right. I’m sorry, it wasn’t her fault at all… It’s just that…”
“I don’t understand says Fiona, what is going on? What’s wrong? I thought like maybe you were seeing somebody or something like that.” Suddenly an idea hit her, “OMG are your parents getting a divorce or something?”
The question was so far from where Julia’s thoughts were that it actually helped. “No, of course not. They are on a date right now.”
“Then what on earth is going on?”
Julia looked over at Fiona and saw her best friend desperately wanting to listen to her and know what was going on. And she wanted to reach out to her, and share her feelings. So she stopped thinking and just started talking.
It all came out. All of it… the lifelong dreams (“Ok, that’s different”), the bed wetting as a kid (“I know I wet the bed for a while when I was in kindergarten…”), the trying policy, her initial approach to her mom (“Wow, you actually told her!?”), the rules (“That’s crazy, but I guess it makes sense), the diapers, the nurse at school (“OMG, that’s where you were!?”), being changed by Mrs Hayman (“Wait, are you telling me my Mom knows about this!?”), and now having to spend even longer in diapers. The story finally made it to the present when Julia explained to Fiona that she had literally just now realized that she was going to need to pee soon and had no idea what was going to happen, since her parents were out on a date.
Julia had been talking uninterrupted (Fiona’s comments aside), for quite some time. She was actually out of breath. And now that she had stopped talking she kind of came out of a daze and realized she had just spilled her guts to Fiona. She took a deep breath. And another.
Fiona was over the initial shock but was processing the information. It suddenly dawned on her what had just happened.
“Oh my God, Julia you just come out to me!”
“What do you mean?”
“I mean you’ve been in the closet about this diaper thing your whole life haven’t you?”
Julia knew what that meant. She didn’t know anybody personally who was gay, but there were certainly rumors. And in fact a few kids had come out in her high school, or at least that is what she had heard. And there were plenty of famous people who had made their sexuality public. Julia didn’t understand why it was such a big deal to people. Her parents had taught her to be an accepting and open minded person. Julia had never thought of herself as ‘in the closet’ but now that she thought about it, she saw that Fiona point.
“Wow. Yea, I guess you are right. I just never thought of it like that.”
“Julia, oh my gosh, you were so deep in the closet you didn’t even know it!” Fiona actually got up and gave Julia a big hug. “Seriously Julia, I bet that was really hard and I can understand why you didn’t want to talk about it. I’m honestly honored that you told me all this. How do you feel now?”
Julia had to admit that although she was still a bit upset, her hands were actually shaking slightly, she did feel better. It had been really hard keeping it all in, not telling her best friend, and even lying. Now that it was all out, she felt normal again for the first time it seemed.
“I’m still a little freaked out I think, but I feel better. I guess I didn’t even realize how hard it’s been keeping it all a secret.”
“Look Julia, I totally understand. I mean, it’s nobody’s business what you wear under your clothes you know? I’m certainly not going to tell anybody or anything like that.”
The two girls kept talking. Fiona asked questions. Julia answered them. They talked and talked. They agreed that the easiest way to go about this was to just act like she really had to wear diapers just like her mom and dad. ‘What difference does it make why you have to wear diapers? If you have to wear em, you have to wear em, right?’ Fiona said.
Eventually Mrs Hayman knocked on the door and told them that dinner was ready and that they should wash up and come down to eat. As they headed to the bathroom Mrs Hayman pulled Julia aside as Fiona started washing up..
“Julia, can I talk with you for a minute?”
Julia didn’t pay much attention and started to continue her way to the bathroom. But Mrs Hayman gently grabbed her arm and stopped her in her tracks.
“Julia, why don’t you come to my room?”
“”Uh, OK”. They two of them quickly hurried down the hall. Julia was a bit surprised when Mrs Hayman closed the door.
“Sorry Julia, I wasn’t sure how to get you away from Fiona, and I’m not sure I did a great job. But I need to check your diaper.”
Julia had been planning on asking what this was all about, but Mrs Hayman just answered all of her questions. The two of them stood there staring at each other for a moment unsure of what to do next. Julia snapped out of it and started talking again.
“Oh, yea, sure.”
Since she was wearing a skirt, she just lifted it up exposing her diaper for Mrs Hayman, who took a look at the front and then turned her around to look at the back. A few pats of the hand and Mrs Hayman said “You look fine as far as I can tell.”
Julia dropped her skirt which fell back into place.
“Yea, I think so too.” It dawned on her that she needed to say something else. “Oh, Mrs Hayman, I think you should know that I finally told Fiona.”
Mrs Hayman did a slow head nod of approval. “Oh, you did? Well, good, I don’t have to sneak around or anything. I was really not sure how I was going to manage to get you changed without Fiona finding out.”
Julia laughed a bit. “Yea, I don’t know that you would have been able to pull that off.” A second paused and a few light bulbs went on it Julia’s head. “Wait, I just thought about something. How were you going to change me? Oh my gosh…”
Mrs Hayman was obviously trying to suppress a smile although Julia had no idea why.
“Let me guess, you just figured out that your parents are out on a date and you were planning to spend the night here and you never thought about what would happen when you needed to have your diaper changed?”
Julia looked at Mrs Hayman quizzically. “Wait, how… how did you know that?”
“I’m a parent Julia. Parents have special powers.”
“No seriously, how did you know?”
“I am serious Julia, although in this case credit goes to your mom.”
It clicked for Julia. “That’s why she wanted to talk to you isn’t it?”
“Good job Julia. Your mom is a smart cookie and was looking out for you. She and your dad dropped off a few supplies on their way to dinner. So later when you do need to have your diaper changed, I have a few here and can take care of it.”
Julia didn’t really know what to say, so she just said “Thanks.”
“You’re welcome. Now let’s go eat.”