Howard giggled insanely at his unvoiced joke as the attendant pulled the diaper up between his legs and began taping the loose ends of the diaper together. Howard knew at that moment that whatever happened in the future, he would never be the man he had been before. Something important had broken inside. He would never be able to dictate to a woman again. They were the strong ones who would make the decisions and tell him what to do. Howard would be content to lie passively and accept whatever they desired for him.
The attendant smiled at his gay giggle, it was obvious that her charge was adapting to life at the Daycare Center. She picked up his limp body and carried the unresisting tot to an unoccupied crib for his “official” afternoon nap. After having raised the side of the crib, she went to Howard’s playpen and retrieved his plushy duckie, blankie and his pacifier. She returned to his crib and tucked the toy in his arms and put the pacifier in his grateful mouth. Howard cuddled the soft velveteen of his duckie to his chest to comfort his bruised ego and sucked unconsciously on the pacifier’s nipple while the attendant tucked the blankie around his diminished body. He lay in the crib with huge unblinking eyes for a few minutes before the lids became to heavy to keep open and he drifted off into a deep dreamless slumber.
When Howard awoke, the nursery hadn’t changed. The nursery smells of poop, stale pee and the perfume of freshly opened packages of disposable diapers mixed together to form an aroma that was well-known to every mother and daycare worker. For the infants in the nursery with Howard, the bouquet of nursery odors merely smelled like home. Howard thought that the smell was vaguely familiar. He wasn’t able to pick out the individual odors from the mix, but the sweet-sour combination of fragrances triggered long forgotten memories of a time of utter contentment that lay buried in the deepmost recesses of his unconscious. His pacifier was still in his mouth and his duckie was still clutched in his arms. He had kicked off his blankie in his sleep to lay in a tangle at his feet. Howard yawned hugely, allowing the pacifier to fall from his mouth and dangle from its ribbon. He moved his legs to stretch them luxuriantly, making the plastic on his diaper crinkle in response. “What’s that noise?”, Howard thought, “Oh, yeah,….It must be my diapers. I wonder if I wet them again while I was sleeping?”
Howard put his hand down and tried to put it in his diaper. He couldn’t, the diaper had been fastened too snuggly against his waist. He took his hand and pushed against the outside of his diaper to force the lining against his skin. If it was wet, the close contact with his skin would be more than sufficient to allow him perceive any pee trapped within its confines. When Howard held the diaper tightly against his crotch, he could feel a slight dampness beneath the clothlike paper liner that separated his skin from the absorbent padding of the diaper. He had dribbled while he slept, but not truly wet the diaper. Howard wasn’t sure if that was an improvement over his previous behavior or not. Was his bladder so uncontrolled that he would only dribble continuously? Or was it an indication of a little leakage from an almost full bladder? He didn’t feel like he needed to go. Howard lay back on the mattress and closed his eyes again. It was good to lay there and let the mattress cradle his body. They would tell him when it was time to move and carry him there when it was time to go. It wasn’t as if he had someplace of his own to go or some job he had contracted to do. His responsibility for his life had ended the moment he had entered the nursery. All that was required of him was acquiescent compliance with his attendant’s wishes. He wouldn’t have been able to oppose them even if he had had the desire to confront his caretakers. Howard’s battered will had receded into a hidden cave of his mind to cower in the darkness until the time was right to reemerge. Until then, he could only passively observe and wait, obeying the women who had become the mistresses of his fate.
Howard lay shut his eyes and relaxed in the crib, drifting in and out of sleep. While he lay in repose, his hand wormed its way up to his face and inserted its thumb between his lips. Occasionally, he would suck on his thumb as he dreamed, then his mouth would become flaccid again as he descended back into a deep infantine slumber.
Interlude IIX From Water Does All Life Begin
Dateline: Sunday July 03, 2011 Excerpt From a Major Television News Program:
Good Evening, the rising waters from the Atlantic are causing major damage to the eastern seaboard tonight. The governors of virtually every Eastern Seaboard state has declared an emergency as unexpectedly high tides inundate the coastal areas. New York harbor is awash as are the sea level areas in Houston and San Diego. Although city services continue to sandbag the affected areas, experts say that their efforts are hopeless. There are rumors of among insiders of plans to move insurance records from vaults of New York Insurance conglomerates as city continues its battle against the rising waters of New York harbor. Inside sources say the deep mines of the Midwest are being considered for permanent storage of the nation’s irreplaceable records. Other areas are suffering too, Miami’s hotels are drowning as rising surf reclaims the waterfront property for the sea. In Bangladesh, the country drowns as mean sea level increases. In the U.N., there has been some discussion for International Aid for the building of sea dikes, but money for investment not available for Third World Countries. International banks have already declined to loan massive amounts of money for non-profit development in low potential areas. Only the Dutch seem to be able to react quickly enough to stop the sea from pouring in. Holland has begun pouring concrete twenty four hours a day in an effort to beat the tide. As the waters flood the lowlands of her neighbors, the Dutch, have, for the first time, began constructing a dike around the perimeter of their entire country. The entire Dutch military as well as thousands of civilians have been drafted for the unfamiliar and physically demanding job of building a two hundred foot wall around their country. In an effort to beat the clock as sea level increases, virtually the entire adult populous of Holland is laboring night and day to increase the height of her dikes. In other news, environmentalists enraged because of the U.S. government refusal to build a dike to protect the Everglades National Park from drowning as sea level increases. Because of the flooding of Washington D.C., the planned protest has been canceled and leaders are calling for a national day of telephone calls into the White House switchboard. Earlier plans to email the President and Congress with their pleas have be canceled due to the continued spamming of the Internet addresses by an unapprehended terrorist group styling itself, “Gaia”. ***************[SW1]
