Who Wears the Pants Scene 263

 

Mrs. Rosenberg, I love David and wouldn’t do anything to hurt him. You know he and I had planned to get married after he graduated college. I still want to get married no matter how ill he is. I want to take care of him. It doesn’t matter to me that he has the mind of an infant. He’ll get better in time, I just know he will. It’s better if he has someone who loves him to take care of him rather than have some stranger in a hospital lock him in a room all day. I know how to take care of babies!”

Mrs, Rosenberg sighed and said as she sat on the couch behind David, “We probably should get him to a doctor, but there’s little we can do for him tonight other than what you’ve already done. I don’t relish the thought of spending all night in an emergency room only to be given a reference to a psychiatrist. I guess he can spend tonight in diapers, he seems to need them. Do you want to stay here with me and take care of him? I can call your mother and explain that David is sick and you’ll stay with us tonight. We have a spare bedroom you can use.”

David looked up at his mother and girlfriend and said clearly, “Ba-ba?”

“Oh, Mrs. Rosenberg, he’s thirsty!”, Rose said with genuine concern for David’s needs, “Can I get something for him to drink?”

Mrs. Rosenberg sighed and said, “I doubt we have the kind of drink he wants. From the way he’s acting, I’d say he’s asking for a baby bottle full of formula. We don’t have anything like that around here. I might be able to make some formula from a can of concentrated milk but I don’t have any baby bottles. I still have his favorite teddy bear packed in a bag in the garage, but I gave away most of his baby things years ago.”

Rose smiled and said, “I’ll take care of it. I got some supplies for him from the grocery store in case he needed them. Don’t get up. I know where everything is in the kitchen. Remember? I helped in the kitchen at his graduation party from High School. It will only take me a few minutes.”

Rose left the room while Mrs. Rosenberg watched David. He seemed to have regressed to the mental level of a nine or ten-month-old infant. He drooled and sucked on his fingers the same way he did when he was a little baby. Mrs. Rosenberg heaved a tremendous sigh and thought to herself, “Poor David! I don’t think I’ll ever get him potty trained again. He was such a trial the first time. I thought I had him trained by when he was ten months old and then he seemed to forget everything I taught him. He was still pooping in his pants when he was three. He didn’t start having dry pants during the day until he was five years old! He was still wetting the bed at night when he was thirteen. Thank the Lord, I still have two of the waterproof covers for the mattresses packed away. They’re old, but surely one of them will do for him tonight. If they both have holes, maybe I can put both of them on the mattress. In any case, I’ll go and buy some more for him tomorrow. I’m so glad that Rose is staying the night to help me take care of him. I don’t think I could lift him with my arthritis. Even though they’ve talked about getting married since they were children, I can’t believe she still wants to marry him. She’s such a gem! I should have known she’d have been able to manage in an emergency, her yikhes is the envy of the neighborhood! How can I separate such people who obviously care for each other? If she still wants to marry him after this, how can I stand in her way? As soon as he’s well enough to make an adult decision, I’m going to have a long talk with him. It’s obvious that she loves him and will take care of him no matter what happens. Those two should be married as soon as possible. I’m getting older and who knows what may happen to me? What would happen to David then? It’s better to have him safety married to some woman who loves him and I know will take care of him. At least she doesn’t seem to mind changing diapers.

I’ll talk to her mother tonight and tell her that David’s taken ill and Rose wants to stay here to nurse him. Her mother is an old friend and will understand. Rose will make a fine wife for my son. As soon as he gets well enough to say “I do”, I’ll see that the two of them are married by a county judge. A formal wedding in the synagogue can wait until he’s well enough to be around people again. Rose is a sensible girl, she won’t argue with me about that. If he gets worse again, I want to have someone I trust be able to make the decisions for him. Thank the Lord that my Jacob was such a successful businessman, at least they won’t have to worry about money. I’ll see about buying a house in the country for them away from prying eyes. There’s no sense in letting the neighbors talk about David’s condition. I have plenty of money in the bank. It will be my wedding present for the two of them. Now let’s see, I saw his baby things in the garage two weeks ago…Where in the garage did I see them?”

Rose returned with a baby bottle in hand and gave it to David. He was delighted. He put the nipple in his mouth and began nursing immediately. Mrs. Rosenberg looked at Rose and raised her eyebrows, then smiled in appreciation at her future daughter-in-law’s thoughtfulness. The off-white color of the liquid in the bottle told her that she had bought baby formula for David in anticipation of his desires. She had been right about Rose being the perfect wife for her son; she’d make an excellent mother to him as well. The tidy way she wiped his chin when he drooled told her she was a balebuste as well. David sucked and slurped noisily on the bottle as if it was the most delicious thing he had ever ingested. Mrs. Rosenberg sighed again and said to Rose, “When he was little we called him Davy. I think it’s best if we call him that again, at least until he regains his adult mind. What do you think, Rose?”

“I…I think you’re right, Mother Rosenberg,” said Rose diffidently.

“Has he eaten tonight?”, Mrs. Rosenberg inquired.

“Ye..Yess, Mother Rosenberg,” replied Rose, “But it wasn’t very nutritious, it was only popcorn.”

Mrs. Rosenberg smiled and said in her most soothing tones, “There’s no need to be afraid of me child! As far as I’m concerned, you’re practically a member of the family! I think you and Davy should be married as soon as he’s well enough for the ceremony. You don’t mind if you get married by a county judge? Good! You’re such a sensible girl! There’s a judge who’s a friend of the family who I’m sure will be discrete about Davy’s condition. As soon as he’s well enough to talk sensibly, I’ll have the judge come over here and marry the two of you. In the meantime, you’ll live here and help me take care of Davy. Your mother and I are old friends and I don’t think she’ll object. How could she? The minute the two of you marry, you’ll be a wealthy woman! How many girls your age have that chance? I’ve decided to buy the two of you a house in the country of your own. If Davy still needs diapers, I’ll arrange to have them delivered. What could be easier for two newlyweds? When he gets better, I’ll see that you have a nice formal wedding in the synagogue. Is that okay with you?”

“Yes, Mother Rosenberg,” Rose said with a smile.

Mrs. Rosenberg shook her head and said, “Not Mother Rosenberg, just Ruth. As I said, you’re a member of the family now. As for his dinner, popcorn is nutritious enough. I just wanted to know what to expect in his diapers in the next day or so. I’m glad you bought a package of diapers for him for tonight, but we’ll probably have to find more appropriate diapers for him to wear. While those diapers you bought fit him, they won’t do if he has to wear them overnight. Believe me, I know, child. Those diapers are meant to contain the output of a toddler’s bladder, not the full content of a full grown man’s bladder. We have to get him diapers that will accommodate the amount of pee an adult’s bladder produces.”