Janine grinned. She enjoyed her guest’s jovial bluntness but couldn’t help but wonder whether or not she’s just a controlling misandrist and that Robert is well and truly under the thumb. “So Robert.” she said, turning to her other guest. “What did you want to be when you were a boy?” she asked. “I can’t imagine you grew up wanting to be a househusband.”
“I’m not sure the phrase had even been coined when I was a boy.” Robert replied, before timidly trying to answer the question. “I wanted to be all sorts of things; cowboy, astronaut, racing driver, fire fighter, ninja…” he chuckled. “But who knows… in years to come when everyone’s dad is the housekeeper, boys may well grow up with that role as an aspiration.”
“Hmm.” Janine replied, clearly not convinced with Robert’s last suggestion. “Really?”
“Let’s not forget Janine that when our mothers and grandmothers were little girls, they had dreams of being a princess and wanted nothing more than to find a prince, live in a castle and wear beautiful dresses.”
“True but… these days girls have so much more to aspire to.” Janine replied.
“We do.” Denise agreed. “And as I stated earlier, the pendulum is swinging. We’re already seeing males taking on the domestic roles, donning their domestic clothes and even prettifying themselves.”
“Yes but… so far as I can make out, not through choice.” Janine said.
“It’s through necessity… one partner provides the money, the other provides the labour.” Denise reiterated. “After a long day in the office, I want to come home to a nice clean house in which I can kick my shoes off and relax. I want the aroma of a home cooked meal and a husband who doesn’t look like he’s spent all day cleaning.” she said. “There’s nothing worse than coming home to a husband with tatty hair and a dirty apron who’s frantically finishing off the hoovering and still needs to clean the kitchen before even starting on dinner.” she added.
“I can just picture the scene.” Janine chuckled. “And does that ever happen Robert?” she asked.
“Er um… ha ha…” Robert nervously chuckled. “It has.” he admitted. “…when I was inexperienced.”
“You keep on top of things these days don’t you darling.” his wife said.
“I try my best.” Robert replied. He described the frantic last hour before his wife returns home, when he’s putting all the cleaning stuff away, giving the worktops one last wipe, quickly dusting a picture frame with his pinny before having a really close shave, applying his make-up, donning a dinner dress, removing his rollers and styling his hair… all in time for Denise to walk through the door.“It sounds like a scene from a nineteen fifties TV show; the perfect little housewife in heels and petticoats, with perfect make-up and not a hair out of place… only you’re the husband.” Janine smiled, before telling the listeners that they’re running out of time. “Now I’m sure you’re all dying to see what Robert’s wearing…” she enthused, “…so we’re going to put a photo on the Weekend Woman’s Hour page at BBC dot com… and don’t forget the podcast where you can hear the entire discussion with our guests, Denise and Robert..” she informed the listeners. “Denise and Robert… I thank you.” she said.
“Thank you Janine.”
“It’s been a pleasure.” Denise added.
Janine turned back to the microphone. “Next week’s Woman’s Hour drama will be the new adaptation of Peter Jackson’s Conditions of Inheritance… in which a teenage boy is forced to become housemaid and servant to his domineering Aunt Agatha… until then, goodbye.”
A male announcer voice began… “Weekend Woman’s hour was presented by Janine Murphey and produced by blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah.”