The crew of the Gemini found no sign of her either. Finally, I had to
get on the ship and go home alone. Instead of going to Mars I was sent straight to Earth.

“So what is the official story about where she went?” I asked.

“She never existed,” said Dr Emily. “You made her up.”

“But she was there. I saw her. If she didn’t exist, then who put away the supplies? Who did the deep cleaning of the station? Who did I talk to for almost five months?” It was a ridiculous idea the Alison Randall did not exist. “I suppose you are going to say that the SS Fortune doesn’t exist.”

“No,” said Dr. Emily, “I’m not. I am going to say that Alison Randall never came down from the Fortune once you saw her.” She pushed a button and a wall panel moved aside revealing a view screen.

“Watch the view screen.”

A camera moved around the inside of the SS Fortune. The floating camera came to a door that said, “Spine.” An arm reached up and opened the door to reveal another airless compartment beyond. Inside a body floated. The figure was frozen in the moment that air had escaped the compartment. She was trying to pull on a space suit but hadn’t got it pulled up higher than her legs. She only wore a t-shirt and an EVA diaper.

“They all died two months before they reached Neptunes orbit. That’s Alison Randall floating there. She was dead all along. Your brain pulled her image off out and used her so you wouldn’t have to think about your loneliness.”

“It can’t be,” I said. “Who wet the co-pilot’s seat in the shuttle? Surely the video log in the shuttle caught that.”

“It did,” said Dr. Emily. “It showed you knocking your coffee over onto the co-pilot’s chair.” She pulled up another screen and I saw the coffee cup fall over and create a circular wet spot on the chair.

“No,” I said. “It’s not her.” I pointed to the other view screen. “That is some other girl. Alison came back to the station with me.”

“Look,” said Dr. Emily.

The body rotated until I could see her from the front. The nametag area of her shirt said Alison Randell. She looked the same as Alison, but her skin was a bluish shade. She almost looked like the way my wife when they dragged her body from the crashed aircar. I felt empty then and I felt just as empty now.