John sat down on one of the suitcases and just looked at me for a good, long time. When he finally spoke, he sounded upset and tired too.
“Alvin, we have a chance at a new life here. I know you didn’t want to come here. Heck I didn’t want to come here either, but none of us had much of a choice. Now that we’re here, we have to make the best of it. And your Mom and I need you to help us with that.”
He paused, massaged his brow to reorganize his thoughts and then continued, “It’s not going to be easy for any of us at first. You’ll be going to a new school and making new friends. Your mother and I will be starting new jobs, while trying to carve out a life for ourselves here.”
He stopped talking again and I thought he was thinking, but then he looked at me and he seemed like he was about to start crying, but he didn’t.
“Alvin, I’ve not been a good dad to you or a good husband recently, but I want to change that. I need to change that! I love you and your mother so much that it hurts right here,” he thumped his chest with his fist, “knowing that I’ve caused you both so much pain.”
He stood up and crossed to the window to look out. He didn’t say anything else along those lines, nor did I. I only watched him until he turned to me and said, “Well it’s about time to eat. Let’s get you dressed and we’ll head down.”
John didn’t say a word when I fished out a pair of my underwear and put them on. I also found a pair of pants and a shirt, but I skipped socks, seeing how my shoes were still downstairs. At least, that is where I’d left them. Instead, I found my beach sandals and put those on.
Nothing else was said as I followed John out of the bedroom and back downstairs.
You might think I was being a real brat for not reacting to anything John had just said but frankly I’ve seen similar displays from him in the past and every time he’d turn around and disappoint me time and time again. So, no! I wasn’t moved by his apparent heart-felt speech. On the contrary, it made me sick to my stomach that he was pulling the same crap in Maine that he’d been pulling in California.