Fish started to reach out with a balled up fist like he was going to pop me in the arm again, but he stopped when I shot him a look that said, “Do it and you will bleed!”

He dropped his hand to his side, however, he did continue to say what he was about to say, “The dance?” and he made sure, that the way he said it sounded like he was calling me a moron for not knowing about it.

“What dance?” I asked.

“Oh Alvin,” Bertha rolled her eyes and head at the same time, “I keep forgetting that you are not from around here.” and all four of us boys gave her a look like none of us believed that for a second. I mean, come on, I don’t dress like anyone here and I sure don’t talk like anyone from around here. I might as well wear a blinking neon sign that reads, ‘Foreigner’.

Bertha began to explain, “After the start of each school year, to get everyone into the school spirit, and to introduce that years members…”

I interrupted her with, “Members of what?”

Sounding slightly irritated for being interrupted she said, “The Boyd Bears of course.”

“Oh yeah,” I said, popping myself in the forehead for having forgot our school hockey team after Stacks had told me about it.

“Anyway, the Pep Squad puts on a Snowball dance.” Bertha continued.

I honestly thought that the next question I raised was a good one, “What the heck is a Snowball dance?” I was envisioning the entire school body engaged in a choreographed snowball fight that was set to music.

All three of the guys acted as though I had asked the dumbest question in the history of mankind. Fish had to take it even farther by drilling a finger into the side of his head. That particular hand gesture was one I was already familiar with. Basically, it’s a way of saying someone must have had a lobotomy.

I took a half serous swing at him, but he had anticipated it and jumped back out of the way of my flying slap. However, since he was out of my reach, Bertha punched BB in the back and from the sound of it she didn’t pull her punch at all.

“What the hell did you do that for?” BB complained loudly.

Boy, after getting hit in the back like that, I was surprised he was able to breathe, let alone speak.

Bertha curled her lip like a snarling dog and said to him, “Pass it on,” and he did just that.

Fish knew what was coming and though he flinched, he took the punch. It was almost comical to watch him as he rubbed his arm, jumped up and down like he was trying to get warm and shook his arm as though trying to shake the pain out.

“Oh yeah! May I have another?” he joked, but his eyes were telling a different story. I don’t think he was jumping around to get warm, but to keep from crying. Knowing how bullies are, if he had started crying or if the others had seen, that he was close to crying, they probably would have pounded him into the snow.

The five of us headed for the school doors while I pleaded, “Will someone please explain to me what a Snowball dance is?”

Bertha put her arm around me and I thought I was going to lose my breakfast from the foul green mist that oozed from under her arm and enveloped my head.

With my head in a loose embrace she explained, “It’s a dance where all the girls in the school get to ask the guys to the dance. Guys don’t get to ask and whichever girl asks them first, that’s who they have to go with.”

She paused long enough to scratch herself under the same arm that was holding my head. This action seemed to release more of the green toxic cloud.

“Since you’ve not been asked by anyone else, consider yourself officially asked.”

“Wait a second here!” Larry loudly objected as we stepped into the school. Probably thirty or more students turned to look right at us.

With no warning, Fish popped Larry right in the mouth. Not hard, but it was enough to get his attention.

“What the bleep?” he cussed at Fish for hitting him. However, before Fish could respond, Larry turned back to Bertha and continued his loud objection. “I thought we were going together again this year?”

Bertha made a face at him like one makes when they are trying to dig a wedgie out of their butt crack. She followed that up by sticking out her tongue.

“No thanks, I use toilet paper!” Larry said and stormed down the hall.

“Oh, that was real mature.” BB shouted to the back of Larry’s head while hooking his arm around Fish’s shoulders.

You know, I must be the most naive person in the entire solar system, because I didn’t even get it when Fish said to BB, “So, looks like it’s me and you again this year?” and then bumped him on the chin with his fist.

BB put his hand on his hip, snapped his other fingers in the air and said, “You know it baby!” And acting like a couple of fruity goofballs, the two of them disappeared, arm-in-arm, into the crowd, soliciting giggles and sniggers from the other students in the hallway.

“So, tell me,” I began, directing my comment to Bertha, “were those two dropped on their heads when they were born?”

Bertha didn’t even crack a smile when she answered, “No, they come by stupid naturally.”