What happened next was actually funny enough to make me laugh. I put the palms of my hands down on the mattress, pressed down and lifted myself to my feet. My right wrist sang out under the strain. However, as soon as my butt left the mattress, the diaper came right off of me, slid down my legs and made a cartoon like splat when it hit my feet and the floor.
I began giggling when I heard it squish and my giggles turned into laughter as I slipped my feet out of the wet, dripping diaper.
“Not one of Mom’s better diapering jobs!” I chuckled loudly.
“That’s because your grandfather did it.” Came Mom’s soft voice from the opening door.
I spun around so fast that I nearly fell to the floor.
“Careful sweetheart!” she cried out while rushing to my side to help me regain my balance.
Turning to fast had made my lip begin to throb but despite it I managed to still mildly giggle about the diaper which had tripped me up.
I then asked, “What time is it?”
“A few minutes after five.” She said.
“WHAT?” I nearly shouted.
“Well the medicine the doctor gave you made you sleepy.” She said.
“No, not that.” I said waving my hands as if to erase that part of the conversation, “I mean why did you let Grandfather diaper me?”
Mom grimaced, “Alvin sweetie, your Grandfather feels so bad about yesterday and he wanted to help. I didn’t have the heart to tell him no.”
“Moooom!” I complained, “But he saw me naked!”
Mom grinned nervously and I could tell by that grin that she knew something I didn’t.
“What?” I asked unsure if I could handle knowing.
Mom bent over, picked up the dripping diaper and started toward the armoire to put it in the diaper pail.
“What do you remember from the hospital?” she asked me in an uneasy tone and I told her what I remembered which was exactly what you just read above.
“So you don’t remember that, when we arrived, you were sitting on your hospital bed in your birthday suit?” Mom said hesitantly.
“I was what?” I gasped and grabbed the footboard with my sore hand to balance myself. I began pleading with her, “Oh no! Mom, tell me you are joking! Please!”
She turned around and was grinning from ear-to-ear and I knew that she wasn’t joking.
“Oh Mom! That’s humiliating!” I said, trying to cover my face and hurting my mouth in the process.
Mom walked back over and gave me a soft hug, “Well, they couldn’t very well leave you sitting there in your clothes. They were soaked with blood and pee and…”
“OH NO!” I moaned because I knew she was going to tell me that along with the blood and pee, I’d also soiled my pants. Now, thinking back on it, I probably did it while trying to drag Larry out of the park. I had been straining pretty earnestly so I probably pushed the contents of my bowels out without even realizing it.
Not knowing what to say after that I just groaned loudly.
Mom released her hug and placed a single finger under my chin to lift my head up so that she could examine my face.
“You look a lot better than you did when we first saw you.” She said.
“I do?” I asked.
“Yes and you even sound almost normal too.” She said and I gave her a puzzled look so she added, “You were talking like you had a mouth full of walnuts.”
“I was?” I said, not remembering any of that either.
“Do you feel up to a quick bath?” she asked after leaning down and ever so softly kissing my stitches above my eye.
That’s when I began to wonder who had cleaned all the blood off me before.
“Did they give me a bath at the hospital?” I asked her.
She nodded as she took my elbow and lead me to the bathroom. “But they didn’t do a great job of it so after we got you home and into bed your grandmother gave you a sponge bath.”
I felt embarrassed all over again.
Boy, that water in the tub sure felt great. Mom, in her great wisdom had filled the tub with cool water. When I first dipped a toe into the tub I gasped as I had been expecting a warm bath. I lowered myself into the water and kept sinking until only from the chin up was left exposed. The cool water soothed away much of my body’s aches and pains. I didn’t even mind that Mom bathed me as if I were a toddler again. While she washed my body I asked and she told me about Larry and that he was doing well when we left the hospital.
“He kept telling your father and me over and over again how you saved his life.” She said.
“Really?” I gasped in disbelief.
Mom grimaced and smiled at the same time, which came across looking like she was constipated or something. “He also wanted us to tell you, that he was very sorry for trying to beat you up.”
“Wow, he really said that?” I said with honest surprise.
“Only about a dozen times.” Mom said and then she stopped washing under my arm for a moment.
“He has the nicest parents too!” she emoted.
I really couldn’t believe how much I had missed or didn’t remember from the hospital.
“You met them too?” I asked.
“Yes, when they came to see how you were doing and to thank you for helping their son.” She told me, “But when we went to see their son, he wouldn’t tell us why the two of you were fighting in the first place.”
I had a sense that Mom was expecting me to tell her the reason for the fight. I could only shrug my shoulders because I didn’t have a clue as to why Larry had suddenly decided that I needed a beating. And then, completely out of the blue it came to me.
“What?” Mom asked, sensing that I was having a revelation and boy she was correct too.
“When Bertha, uh that’s the girl that asked me to the dance…” I began.
“What dance?” Mom interrupted.
Oh yeah, I hadn’t yet had the chance to tell anyone about the Snowball Dance or about smelly Bertha saying I was going to be her date. So I had to back up and tell Mom all of that before I could continue.
“So you see, I think the reason Larry got so mad about Bertha going with me instead of him is because he likes her.” I finished saying.
I then looked up at Mom for confirmation that she understood now.
“So when you hang out with these friends of yours, you’re not getting into any trouble, are you?” Mom asked.
“Mom! You totally missed the point!” I said with frustration and pounded the surface of the bathwater, causing it to splash into Mom’s face.
“Alvin!” she complained as she reached for a towel to dry herself with.
“So do you like her too?” Mom finally asked.
“What?” I said in an awful gasp, “Oh Mom, don’t be gross!”
But Mom had no idea how grotesque Bertha was. I guess for her, Bertha was just some girl at school who thought I was cute.