Since this was my first time ever pooping in the great outdoors, (not counting the ocean), I wasn’t exactly sure how to go about not pooping on myself. It seemed to make sense that I should only pull my pants down to my hips and squatted with my feet as far apart as I could without falling over. When it came out it felt like it might be a record breaking poop for me because it felt like a big one. In the bathroom a poop always falls into the water with a plop, but this time there was no plop. In fact there was no satisfactory sound at all because the dang turd hadn’t hit the ground and in my mind I could envision what it might have looked like.

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