I carefully pulled up my underwear and then my pants. As I was zipping up my fly I looked down at the lump I’d just deposited and was surprised to see that it wasn’t brown at all, but a kind of bright green. I’d never had green poop before; I’d seen just about every shade of brown come out of me including light tan, and a brown so dark it looked black, but never did I drop a green dookie. In a warped and disgusting sort of way it was kind of pretty.
Once I had my belt refastened I climbed out of the ravine and made my way back to the car. With each step I could feel my, butt cheeks sliding around and knew that I’d not even come close to getting myself cleaned up.