The small portion of Roland’s mind that had been unaffected by the transformation wanted to scream in horror at what Louise had planned for him, but the transformation had been too thorough. His baby fingers kneaded Louise’s teat as his mouth desperately suckled from her pap, swallowing after each tiny jet filled his mouth with the rich flavor of human milk. Hating himself and his lack of ability to control his need to suckle, he continued to rhythmically press her engorged nipple against his hard palette with his tongue while his cheeks created a vacuum to pull the milk from her breast. Even though the adult portion of his mind was repelled by the act of nursing, it still took pleasure from the presence of the huge nipple which filled his mouth.
Instinctively, Roland knew that Louise was right about his near future. In the condition he was in, it wouldn’t take long for him to regress emotionally into infancy. She had made him absolutely dependent on her for everything. The adult portion of his mind knew with almost certainty that if he tried to speak in his present condition, nothing would come out but a baby’s meaningless babble. Not only had she reduced him to the status of an infant, but she had effectively isolated him from the adult world by taking away his powers of communication. The only cries for help he could make would be an infant’s wail for attention. Once his vocabulary was reduced to that of a toddler, then his thinking would be little better than an infant. If she was right, and he had no reason to doubt her claims, his mental abilities would be reduced to those of a two year old. His education would be wiped away, leaving a tabla rosa which would remain forever pristine. The memories of his adult life would be useless to him without a linguistic map to assign meaning to the events of his life. His memories would have the same meaning for him that a toddler would have as he witnessed adults making decisions and managing their lives in his midst, i.e., none. With growing horror, he realized that once his psyche was reduced to thinking like a toddler, he’d be perfectly happy playing with baby toys.
Roland knew that he was beaten. There wasn’t any way to call his lawyer to sue Louise for divorce or anything else. The worst part was that the adult part of his mind actually enjoyed nursing and having his diapered bottom patted patronizingly by his wife/Mother. When she had rubbed the baby powder into the skin of his crotch, it had felt so good he could hardly stand it. Roland could well imagine his reaction to being bathed daily by Louise; he knew that the physical sensations of being scrubbed into absolute cleanliness, followed by a massage with baby oil before he was powdered and diapered would be so pleasurable that he’d giggle with delight throughout the entire procedure. The very thought of being babied and coddled in such a fashion made him want to cringe in abject revulsion.
When they got to the car, Louise planned to strip any personal belongings out of his clothes and wallet that might be used to link his clothes to him. She intended to make a small detour and drop off the bag of clothes and shoes at Goodwill’s parking lot supermarket depository on the way home. Once they were home, she would use her heavy shears to cut up his wallet credit cards and driver’s license into small pieces and throw them in the trash for pickup the next day. The private investigator had been paid and called off the case a week before, so her husband’s movements weren’t being watched. Louise had told the investigator that she intended to confront her husband with the evidence of his misdeeds and intended to divorce him if he didn’t stop stepping out on her.