Vivan’s house was on the shore of Lake Polk in the hill country. She owned a large tract of land that reached well into the surrounding hills. Janet rang the doorbell which was answered by a handsome, blond-haired woman with a babe in arms. “Come in. I see you brought Timothy with you. Let’s sit in the family room. I’d like to show you the herb harvest.”

Janet accompanied her to the family room carrying Teddy. They sat down on the sofa, which had a large basket filled with bundled herbs. “I just finished making this basket for you. There are bundles of vervain, yarrow, chamomile, sage, rue, heliotrope, and hyssop in the basket. If you need some more just call, I’ve got plenty.”

Janet thanked her and asked her how the rest of her garden was doing. “This years’ harvest was huge. The meadow I planted five years ago has come in beautifully. You’ll have to see it while you’re here.”

A teapot started whistling in the kitchen and she asked Janet, “Would you like some tea? I have some water heating in the kitchen.”

Janet said she would and Vivian got up to make the tea. “Would you watch Faye for me?”, putting the baby down on the sofa.

She returned a few minutes later, handed Janet a cup of tea and reseated herself with her tea. “And how is Timothy doing?”, she said.

Janet told her that he seemed to be adjusting to the situation and asked if she could use her bathroom. “Certainly. You remember where it is. It’s right down the hall, third door on the right. I’ll watch Timothy for you.”

Janet got up and left Timothy on the sofa with Vivian. She looked at him propped up on the arm of the sofa and smiled. “Janet tells me you’ve been a very naughty boy. I hope you’ve learned your lesson.”

He looked away from her, uneasy with the direction her talk was heading in. His diaper felt uncomfortable and he shifted slightly to find a better position. Then he realized that he had wet his diaper and it was starting to leak. He frowned and squirmed, hoping that Vivian wouldn’t notice before Janet returned. She looked down at his diaper. It had started to drip and puddle under him. He realized that the dribble had drawn her attention and became very embarrassed. Her smile got broader and she shook her head in amusement as he blushed a deep crimson.

She got up and put Faye in the playpen next to the patio door. She took a diaper out of his bag and put it on the sofa. “Does Timothy need his diaper changed?”, she said, grasping his ankles and pulling him to the middle of the sofa.

She undid his diaper and removed it, leaving him supine and exposed. She tickled him, trying to get him to laugh, but he only kicked and tried to keep her away. “Doesn’t Timothy like to be tickled?”

He wiggled and fidgeted nervously, unable to answer. She sighed and re diapered him in the dry diaper. Janet walked in just as she finished changing him. “Doesn’t he laugh?”, she asked Janet.

“Not since I regressed him. He doesn’t make any happy noises at all.” she said despondently.

Vivian smiled at Janet and said comfortingly, “He’s going to start laughing soon, I’m sure. I can tell he’s not really unhappy, just a little embarrassed and angry. He’ll get over that.”

“I hope so,” Janet said, looking doubtful.

The doorbell rang and Vivian said, “That must be my brother Ancel, he was supposed to drop by this afternoon. I’ll be back in a minute.”

She left and returned with a tall, handsome man who was obviously related to her. “Janet, this is my brother Ancel. Ancel, this is Janet, an old friend of mine.”

Janet smiled and said hello to him.

Vivian told her, “Janet, Ancel came by to check on some herbs I’m growing for him in the meadow. Why don’t you go with him and let him show you the way to the meadow? I’ll stay here and babysit.”

Janet glancing at Ancel and said, “I haven’t left Timothy since….. well, you know.”

Vivian chuckled and said, “Nonsense, he’ll be fine. It’ll do both of you good to get away from each other for a little bit. You’ll see. Now go with Ancel, the path runs along the shoreline right there.”

She pointed to the lake view which was framed by the patio door. Janet reluctantly agreed and they left to see the herb garden. Vivian put Timothy and his blanket in the playpen, picked up Faye and sat down. He sat quietly in the playpen and watched Janet and Ancel though the patio door as they made their way around the lake shore. Presently, they could not be seen and he turned his attention to the living room. Vivian sat on the sofa, knitting and watching tv while her baby, Faye, slept on the sofa beside her. He toyed with the blocks in the playpen with him for a moment, stacking and grouping them randomly. He was bored. The least she could do is let him out and let him crawl on the carpet! He picked up a block and peevishly threw it at the side of the pen. It bounced off the nylon netting and hit him in the head painfully. He squalled in rage and surprise. She got up, checked his injury, clucked her tongue and removed all the blocks from the pen. He looked up at her in pained disappointment. She smiled and put a pacifier in his mouth. He spit out the pacifier, opened his mouth, and cried in frustration, drumming his heels on the floor of the pen. “If you’re going to act like a spoiled brat, I’m going to ignore you,” she said.

He continued to cry as she reseated herself on the sofa. His screams woke Faye and Vivian shot him a look of pure venom. He closed his mouth with a snap and wept silently as she held and comforted her baby. “Don’t cry baby. It’s alright. Is Faye hungry? Does mommy’s baby need to be fed?”.

“I’ll take care of you in a minute, Timothy, just as soon as Faye is finished,” she said.

Faye gradually slowed her feeding and fell asleep again. Vivian took her into the nursery, put her into her crib, then returned and put Timothy on her lap.

Repressed memories were suddenly freed and assaulted him. Dissonance and conflicts overwhelmed him and forced him to retreat into the limbic brain. The retreat became a headlong rout as the memory/emotions seized the forebrain and cerebrum, isolating him deep in the limbic cortex. He abandoned his personality/memory/identity matrix and hid in the seat of awareness, the Sahasrara or “Crown” Chakra, waiting for the battle to subside. As the struggle became global, he huddled in terror. Deep within his R-brain, instinct stirred, commanding survival at any cost.

The center of his being unfolded, opening like a lotus blossom. It expanded, pervading his mind and severing the connection between reason and consciousness. It swept forth, resolving conflicts and dissonances ruthlessly. The neural network frayed and unraveled. Paths were diminished in number and size. Memory/association nodes were isolated, parsed and simplified, then reduced again. Nodes winked out and disappeared without trace. The web of reason, tattered and torn, blew away in the neural storm. Slowly, his awareness emerged and reoccupied the empty battlefield of his mind. The strife had ceased. The nodes of experience, of logic, of pain had vanished completely. His psyche, now free of comprehension and contradictions, was at peace with itself.

Untroubled by the broken thread of cognition, he lay placid in her arms and suckled. He floated in infantine bliss, unknowing, uncaring about what had happened. He had reached a pure zen state. He was without words. He had been reborn and the world had become new and shiny again. Timothy stopped nursing, his hunger satiated. Vivian put him in the playpen and went to the bathroom for a washcloth.

Timothy looked at the room with renewed interest. Everything seemed alive and unique. Old memory/associations were forgotten and he eagerly sought meaning in everything he saw. He sat joyously, reaching out with his hand to try and catch the sparkling dust motes that floated in the sunlight in front of him. He chuckled and grinned childishly. He watched the pretty colors dance on the tv and chortled with pleasure at their beauty. He crawled over to his blanket and sat back on his legs, his knees folded beneath him. Timothy grabbed a corner of the blanket in one hand, brought it up to the side of his face and smiled as he felt its’ soft, fluffy texture against his cheek. He felt drowsy and laid the side of his face down on the floor of the playpen, still holding his blanket, his bottom in the air. He put his thumb in his mouth and fell asleep. He napped for a hour before waking up.

He looked around the room from where he lay, searching for Janet. Not seeing her, he yawned and sat up, comforting himself by sucking his thumb. He looked out the patio door, saw her by the lake, pointed and crowed in delight. He happily went back to watching the shifting colors and listening to the sounds on the tv.