Janet might’ve expected me to concede her point. To say, “Maybe not all Amazons are that bad.” What I said instead was, “I guess I don’t have an inch of common sense, then.”

Janet blinked. “Clark, I like you. But I don’t think you and I can be friends right now.”

“I agree.”

“You can go, now.”

So I did.

There are many different kinds of sex; and no I’m not referring to position, number of partners, genitals, or holes. There’s making love where your partner or partners are so enraptured by each other that the entire world ceases to exist for however long. There’s anger sex, where your body gets so confused with all the signals it’s receiving that it forgets the reason why the blood is pumping so hard. Baby making is just where you’re trying to have a kid, and you’re doing your due diligence while having a good time, even though you’re trying to make something that will severely stimmy your sex drive. There’s boredom sex when nothing is on T.V., and makeup sex when you’ve forgiven each other and breakup sex when you want that one last sweet memory (or to confirm why you’re breaking up to begin with).

Then there’s guilt sex. When you feel guilty, because you’ve wronged someone, and you want to forget about it and apologize without admitting that you’ve done anything wrong. Unlike many of the above listed variations on the theme, guilt sex only requires one party to be feeling guilty. If Cassie knew how I was feeling just then and knew why, it wouldn’t have been guilt sex. It would have been makeup sex, anger sex, or possibly even breakup sex.

But she didn’t. She just knew it was sex. It helped that there was nothing on T.V.

We had guilt sex because after my almost abduction/adoption and my conversation with Janet things had reached a damn near boiling point. And if I had an inch of common sense, I would have quit my job and we would have moved into Misty Brook, at least temporarily. We could have sold the

house while we rebounded and I could have figured out what else to do with my life.

I guess I didn’t have an inch of common sense.