I threw a glance at Tarnia. It was a glance that screamed ‘Please bail me out. Make an excuse. Go to lunch. Something!’
My assistant looked to me and then back over to Mrs Zoge. She jerked her head toward the back door. “Go ahead,” she said. “I’ll watch the kids and go to lunch when you get back.” Well…I be blown… A mind reader Tarnia was not.
Standing up from my desk, I zig zagged past the bodies of sleeping children towards Beouf’s assistant. She opened the door and ushered me into the space between our two classrooms. Even there, I felt like she was eyeing me. I masked my discomfort by folding my hands behind my back, resting them on my waistband as if to catch or slap away prying fingers from my pants.
I pivoted around and looked up to the older, much much larger, woman. Inhaling through my nose, I steaded myself internally; making my voice as flat and businesslike as I could manage. “Yes, Mrs Zoge? What can I do for-?”
“I’m sorry.” There. She just blurted it out. It wasn’t the automatic, scared apology I’d received the other day. This? This seemed on the verge of sincerity.
My eyes shifted over to the door leading to Mrs Beouf’s room. “For what?” I asked, feigning ignorance. I’m not sure why. I should have just said I’d forgiven her and walked away, but some sado-masochistic part in me wanted to watch her squirm; wanted to give the woman a chance to mess up again. Or maybe I just wanted a reason to stay mad.
After the past few days it felt good to be mad, even a little bit.
If there’s an opposite of a smirk, Zoge was doing it. “For…for…checking…accidentally…for checking…for…your…” Behind my back my hands were balling up into fists. I don’t know what I was thinking. If there was a way to hate and enjoy something simultaneously, I’d found it.
“Excuse me?” I said. “What are you trying to tell me?” Mentally I was urging her. Taunting her.
Say it. Say it. I know you want to. Do it. Do it. Admit what you were doing. Admit what you wanted to do. The honesty would be oh so refreshing!
Zoge stopped. She took a deep breath. Closed her eyes. Then she did something completely unexpected. She bowed. Completely bowed. She got down on her knees so that she was only a little taller than me and then folded down on herself, palms and forehead flat on the floor.
