My yoga videos called this ‘The Child’s Pose.’
“I was wrong,” she said, her forehead still to the floor. “I violated your personal space and discounted your autonomy.” The words came out and I still couldn’t believe what I was hearing. She kept talking. “I don’t think it was a mistake, either,” Zoge sniffed. I could hear her voice starting to crack. “If you were one of our students, I could have easily skipped you. Mrs Beouf would have checked your dia-…not that you…I mean. I don’t know that it was conscious…but…but…”
My mouth was dry. My pulse was racing. The room felt incredibly warm. Holy shit! She was saying it. She was actually saying it! I stumbled over to the wall for balance. “Mrs Zoge…what are you…-?”
“I think maybe I’d hoped to catch you.” Her voice was quiet but I could tell she was crying. If this was a performance it was a damn good one.
And why would someone like Zoge admit this? Behind Forrest and Brollish, Zoge was easily a solid bronze in the all ‘All Littles Need Diapers’ olympics; and she was only that low because she wasn’t blatantly trying to loop me into that belief on a weekly basis. Now she was copping to it!
More importantly, why did I feel so bad about it? Is this what the mouse felt when he saw the crying lion with a thorn in its paw? How was this possible? How was I feeling sorry for her? “Mrs Zoge,” I started, I-”
“I have disgraced myself.” she said. “If you were an Amazon you’d have every right to ask me to be disciplined.” My throat was actually starting to feel tight. “But I know that’s unlikely for you. Tell me what I must do to make things right.”
“Mrs Zoge,” I said, finding my voice. “Did Mrs Beouf ask you to do this?”
Mrs Zoge looked up. Tears were gently, gracefully sliding down her face. I’d never seen an Amazon cry before that moment. Not an adult one. It was unsettling. “No, sir,” she said. “I just need to make this right.”
“Why?” Why was I asking why?! The hell was wrong with me?