A week later, I bumped into Kathy by chance on the high street. “Doing some Christmas shopping?” she knowingly asked.

“Who isn’t at this time of year?” I smiled before asking her if she had time for a quick coffee. “It’s freezing out here and I feel like I’ve been on my feet for hours.”

“Sure… where do you fancy?” she asked.

“Anywhere that’s close and warm.” I said. We headed to Ye Olde Café, a new place on Market Street. It’s name made us chuckle and we weren’t surprised to find it virtually empty. It is after all, a greasy spoon with ideas above its station. A transistor radio blasts out What are we gonna get for ‘er indoors? by George Cole and Denis Waterman. “God I’m sick of hearing this song.” Kathy said.

“I’m sick of hearing The Flying Pickets!” I replied. Kathy said she likes that song. “So do I but… they just play it too much.” No sooner I’d finished the sentence, one song ended and the next began; ba-da, ba-da, ba-da, ba-da, bada-bada… “See what I mean?!” I said as the familiar intro to their acapella version of Yazoo’s Only You crackled out of the tinny little speakers. “So what have you been buying?” I asked as Kathy put a bundle of carrier bags beneath our table.

“Oh just bits and bobs for the nieces and nephews.” she replied, before asking what I’d like to drink and going to the counter to order. She returned a few moments later with two coffees, set them on the table and set herself down. “So what have you been buying?” she asked inquisitively.

“Well…” I said, picking up one of my carrier bags and dipping my hand inside. “…you’re probably going to think I’m a terrible mother but…”

Kathy’s jaw dropped as I pulled an item from my bag. “Those aren’t for Timothy are they?” she asked. I gulped and nodded. The three pack of white knickers have lacy elastic trim around the waist and legs; one pale pink, one pale blue and one candy pink. Each has a matching satin bow. She took them from me and said, “Oh my… he’s going to hate these.”

“I know.” I said, trying to sound braver than I felt. “But I’ve made my mind up.” I told her. “He came home late from school last week and I just knew he’d had another detention.”

“What for this time?”

I sighed and said that he claimed he’d been to the art club but I knew he was telling fibs. “I rang his year tutor the next day and he had had a detention. So after a lengthy chat with her, I made my mind up and took back all the presents I’d bought him, got the money back and I’ve been spending the lot on gifts he deserves rather than gifts he wants.”

“You sound like you need something stronger than a coffee.” Kathy suggested as she passed the three pairs of frilly knickers back to me. “So… what else have you been buying?”

“Well…” I said as I put them back. “…I’ll refrain from showing you everything but… more knickers, frilly knee socks, some tights… I’m going to buy him a dress too but haven’t found ‘the one’ yet.”

“Don’t you think you’re going a bit too far?”

“Maybe… but maybe not.” I replied. “Hopefully this lot will make him think twice about his behaviour at school… if he stops playing up and buckles down, he’ll get rewarded… if he doesn’t, then it’ll be more of the same for his birthday.” I told her. “There’s no point dishing out idle threats that he knows I wont follow up on… and this lot will demonstrate just how serious I am.”

“Well you can say that again.” Kathy replied.

We spent a few moments of silence whilst we sipped our coffee and smoked our cigarettes. Maybe I am going too far, I wondered. “What are you doing for Christmas anyway?” I asked. “Have you got George this year?”

“No he’s going to his dads.” she replied. “You?”

“It’s just me and Timothy… hence all this lot.” I replied. “You’re welcome to join us… if you’re at a loose end.”

Kathy though for a moment before saying “I might just take you up on that offer… unless I’d be in the way.”

“Not at all.” I replied. “The look on Timothy’s face is going to be priceless… it’d be a shame not to share it with someone… especially since it was you who inspired me.”

“Oh don’t put this on me!” Kathy jovially retorted. “This is all your own doing.” she said. “But you are right… the look on his face will be priceless!” she grinned.