I glanced at my mother who raised an eyebrow. Now I hear it… I do vaguely recall a dream involving girl’s nappies. I gulped and hung my head as the cassette rolled on, revealing details of my dreams that even I can’t recall… well not whilst fully conscious anyway.

…and bought a huge pack, too big for a carrier bag. I had to carry them through town and everyone knew. When we got home I put them in my drawer. Each one had a different picture on the front; a princess, a kitten, a teddy bear, a butterfly. Loads of different designs… Mum told me to choose my favourite to put under my pillow, ready for bedtime.

And did you have to wear one Peter?

[pause] I don’t know. I think so. I remember choosing one and Mum telling me it was ‘nice’, then she gave me a pair of see-through rubber knickers with frilly trim and I complained that they were too girlie… I think it ended there.

Possibly. Any other dreams you’d like to tell us about?

There’s lots of school ones.

School ones?

Dreams about going to school dressed as a girl… there’s one where I go to school in Scotland and have to wear a kilt because that’s the uniform.

Do you have this particular dream often Peter?

Sort of… it’s always a bit different. Sometimes it’s a normal skirt or one of those school dresses they wear on Neighbours. [long pause]

Are your dreams often about going to school and wearing a er… girl’s uniform?

Not always. Sometimes It’s a swimming lesson but I’m wearing a costume because I forgot my trunks. One week the Scout master was sick so we had to go to Guides instead.

And you dressed like the other Guides?

We had to.

So it wasn’t just you… it was all the other boys too?

Yes. I think so. I can’t remember.

“Are you going to make me listen to all of this?” I glumly asked. My mother nodded. “Have you any idea how shameful it is for me?!”

“I can imagine that it’s not pleasant… but it’s important that you hear it.”

“I’d rather destroy it and forget about it.”

“Oh I’m sure you would Peter… but forgetting about it will be easier said than done.” she retorted. “The only way we’re going to get to the bottom of this is to tackle it head on.”

I hung my head. I guess she’s right. I tuned back into the uncomfortable revelations emanating from the cassette player.

…cousin’s back garden there’s a fish pond. I don’t know how but I fell in. We only went for the day so I didn’t have a change of clothes and had wear one of my cousin’s dresses whilst my clothes dried on the washing line.

He did fall in that pond once… but I can assure you he didn’t..

Ssshh. Try not to interrupt his chain of thought. Peter?

Yes?