I’m so grateful for the guidelines Sandra and I have worked out for training Jason. The next few days are going to be very important in establishing boundaries and routines for my little boy. I keep discovering practical things I need to attend to now I have a full time baby. The other day for example when I sent him of to work in his disposable nappy I forgot to put in his brief case a plastic bag for his wet nappy. When he took it of mid morning and put on his big boy undies [those I had put in his brief case!] he felt he had nowhere safe to put his wet nappy. In the end he stuffed them at the back of his desk draw and at lunchtime went for a walk to a near by park and put them in a bin.
He has never worn nappies to work before and so the first couple of days he was worried that someone might notice. Building up his confidence so that he knows he can safely wear his nappies anywhere as long as he doesn’t over wet them, is one of the little developmental task ahead of him. I need to be careful that I pace things at a level that little Jason can handle.
When he arrived home from work on that first night, he was really stressed. When he come in the door I said “How’s Mummies little boy” and opened up my arms. He came immediately and snuggled his head under my chin, [one of the many advantages of me being so much taller than him] and as I put my arms around him and began to pat him on the back in a motherly and way he burst into tears. I immediately thought that something terrible had happened at work but it was just the tension of him not knowing what to do with his wet nappy and that someone might have discovered it before he had time to dispose of it. I led him to the bedroom changed him out of what I refer to his ’ pretending clothes’ and put him in his nappy, plastic panties and nursery print Tee shirt. I bought him a bottle of warm milk and as I nursed him I gently reassured that it won’t be long before he feels as relaxed in his nappy at work as he does at home. I then tucked him up with his teddy and told him he could have a little nap before dinner. When I checked back on him twenty minutes later he was fast asleep. The poor darling was just exhausted. I think the last twenty-four hours have been a big shock for the little chap.
I once read that what we wear tells us where we are going even before we consciously know the destination. Well, Jason’s destination is to be my little boy, it’s back to the nursery for him and it is important that his clothes support that journey. The nappy, which I make sure he is wearing whenever he’s in my presence, is a powerful reminder to him of his status in my eyes, and a wet nappy of his state of dependence on me. Every morning when he leaves me to go to work dressed in his grown-up clothes, they conceal his inner secret. Every time he moves he is made conscious of that secret hidden beneath his clothes.
Today after work I took Jason down to the mall to get him some much-needed little clothes and I wanted him to be part of choosing them. We first went to a specialist sewing shop where they had a large section of cloth figures that you could glue or sew onto clothes. They had a particularly delightful nursery motif section. Jason chose three pictures. One of a toddler sitting on the floor dressed just in a nappy playing with some ABC blocks, the next was a fun one of a teddy on a swing, and the third was of a head shot of a little one snuggling up to Mummy. We then bought three white tee shirts to sew the pictures on. Next, we went to a men’s shop and I bought him two-track pants large enough to go over his cloth nappies and plastics. I also bought six white underpants to replace his mostly colored ones. These are for him to change into at work mid-morning when he changes out of his wet nappy. Jason wanted color ones but I insisted on white, that way I can more easily monitor if my little one has had any little accidents when I change him back into his nappy when he gets home in the evening. Lastly, we went to a department store and bought him a plastic bowl with Bambi on it, a plate with Peter Pan, and a feeder cup with Tinker Bell on it. He loved them! My final purchase was the most gorgeous nappy bag I have ever seen. It had a white background with pictures all over it of cutest looking toddlers playing with trains, trucks, airplanes, blocks, teddies, etc. It was a nice big size with separate pockets for wet and dry nappies, babies bottle, num num, baby wipes etc. just perfect for our trip tomorrow to pick up Sandra from the airport.