Karen laid down in her bathtub.
Moments after Karen felt a twinge of guilt.
She always felt guilt at this time.
It seemed like a routine with her with diapers.
She’d always wet them until they leaked, and then feel guilty about what she had done.
She felt guilty just like when her mom yelled at her.
Or maybe it was different.
She felt guilty like she did when her friend Summer wet her sleeping bag. I
t was detached guilt, a combination of empathy and guilt all at the same time.
It was an emotion she could feel no other way.
It was fun in a way;
it was a novelty,
but it certainly wasn’t satisfying.
It wasn’t the same as snuggling with someone on the couch or cooking dinner from someone you love.
Karen knew this.
She knew diapers couldn’t make her happy.
But she still felt attracted to the diapers.
Why?
Why do I do this?
Karen asked herself.
Partly she knew the answer,
partly she didn’t.
Maybe it was because her first experience was with Summer in high school.
Karen and Summer had been drinking.
Well, that’s an understatement.
Karen and Summer were drunk.
Karen’s parents were out of town and they had each downed 3 wine coolers.
This may not seem like a lot,
but when you never drink and you drink 3 wine coolers in 2 hours,
well let’s just say you get drunker than you think you are.