Tears rolled down his cheeks as he realized the hopelessness of his position. He had to be washed, fed and changed like any baby. He could barely walk. He couldn’t talk. He really was her baby again! A second revelation stunned him when he realized that mental regression wasn’t necessary. He thought about how good the sensations felt when he was being cared for by his mother were that morning. Although his conscious mind had fought the change, he knew that his infantile Id had secretly enjoyed every minute of it. His unconscious had accepted his new status. His Id had luxuriated in her attentions; he craved the sensation of his mother bathing, feeding, and cuddling him!
The more he thought about it, the more he realized how much he loved his mother’s nurturing. It was as if some hidden side of his personality had flowered instantly after years of germination in darkness. Thomas suddenly realized how much he needed his mother emotionally. All at once, his hunger for her doting ministrations made him ache with desire. He yearned for her touch. He wanted to revel in her gentle caresses. Even her simplest comfort was precious to him. He wanted to be rocked asleep in his Momma’s arms, his bottom cradled securely in her lap, with his head nestled against her ample breasts. He welcomed the idea of receiving his afternoon bottle while laying in his crib. He could almost sense the pleasant, tingling sensations in his mouth and face while suckling the nipple as the sweet taste of the formula gave him a warm, comfortable feeling as he drifted off to sleep. He knew he would love the comfort of his flannelette sleepers and how their soft fluffiness would caress his skin. He looked down at the diaper and gave a half smile, appreciating the secure feeling wearing a diaper gave him. He knew that he needn’t worry about having an “accident”; that any mess he “made” would be soaked up and safely contained.
With mounting horror he realized that it wasn’t only his id that delighted in making messes in his diaper, but his conscious mind had enjoyed the sensation as well. It gave him not just a feeling of physical relief, but caused an intense, almost sexual, pleasure as well. Once his cortical censorship of his true feelings was lifted, he had to admit to himself that even the diaper change had been arousing. He had secretly loved the sensation of Momma changing his diaper; her gentle hands unfastening the soggy mass, the unhurried cleansing of his pubes and bottom, the silky texture of his skin after powdering, the clean smell of baby powder wafting from his crouch, the dry cushioned softness of a fresh diaper, it’s perfume surrounding him in an almost palpable cloud of sweetness and purity, and throughout it all, Marge’s quiet voice soothing him, comforting him, loving him. He wanted to be pampered and mothered! Since he had been a child, he had repressed his need to remain as his mother’s baby!
Thomas was shocked by the revelation of his hidden desires. Once the façade of adulthood had been stripped away from him, he was exposed to everyone, including himself, for what he truly was; a nakedly infantile personality who was helpless without his mother’s constant care! He knew that his personality was regressing and the sights and smells of the nursery; all the sensations of babyhood, were becoming an accepted part of his world. They were rapidly becoming his whole world! Then the horrible thought struck him; he already was Momma’s baby!
