“Are your kilt, your petticoat and your knickers making you feel feminine in your legs, I wonder?” There’s a pause in which Melvyn can’t help swallowing with fright. “The trouble is, your kilt and frilly petticoat are so long we can’t see those sweet legs of yours. At Pretty Kilting, we can offer a range of much shorter, more girlish kilts, as you can imagine, Missus Stewart. Can I invite you to visit us tomorrow if at all possible?”

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