Jo gave Mary a little time to make her way across the dark cabin to her bed before making her way out of the stall, over to the garbage can in the corner of the room. She was a little disappointed that there seemed to be nothing but paper towels inside. Disappointed, and suspicious. Not enough to go digging through the garbage, but enough to ask Jeanie, the other counselor, if she couldn’t take the girls swimming on her own the next day, claiming a queasy stomach.
She couldn’t help but feel kind of creepy as she walked over to Mary’s bed, sliding her suitcase out from under it. It was really none of her business, either way, since if it was true, she was obviously taking care of it on her own. But that wasn’t enough to stop her from unzipping the suitcase and carefully sifting through it. And, sure enough, there at the bottom, hidden beneath all of her other clothes, was a stack of Goodnites. She stared down at them for what felt like an eternity, just looking at them, their slight padding, the delicate, cute butterflies decorating the front.
That should have been that. Her hunch confirmed, she should have put everything back, shoved the suitcase back under the bed, went about her day. Yet she found herself picking one up, feeling it with her fingertips. It was stupid, she knew, but some part of her wanted it for herself. She counted the ones remaining in the suitcase – there was enough for the rest of camp, and one extra, other than the one she was still hanging on to – then put everything away.
She stood, picking up the Goodnite and starting for her own suitcase, only to notice that she wasn’t alone. She let out a gasp, barely able to convert the scream that had been building in her throat into that, trying to hide her precious cargo behind her before realizing it was too late. “Th-This isn’t what it looks like,” she said with a blush.
“Really?” Hope raised an eyebrow, putting her hands on her hips in an almost eerie recreation of Jolene’s mother’s stance when she ‘smelled something fishy’. “Because it looks like you’re taking a diaper out to Mary.”
Jolene’s heart stopped. There was a part that was glad, sure, that Hope thought this was all about Mary, but the rest of her felt terrible for having inadvertently revealed Mary’s secret. Obviously, if she was getting up so early to change back into her regular panties, it wasn’t something she wanted advertised. Still, Hope was one of the most mature girls in the cabin, so Jolene tried to reason with her. “Hope, you can’t tell anybody about this, please! It would be humiliating for her…”
Hope nodded slowly, as if she were thinking about something, then stopped. “Wait… She’s sure never looked like she was wearing a swim diaper under her swimsuit… And I’m sure you and Jeanie wouldn’t let her in the pool without one, if she really needed them…”
Jo had to hand it to her, it was an impressive piece of detective work, especially to come up with off the top of her head. She had no counter for it, other than to shrug and let her continue. “Then what -are- you doing? I mean, it’s not like you’d be stealing it for yourself…” She giggled, but just for a moment, until she saw Jo’s blush, heard her silence. “Do you…?”
“What? No!” Jolene managed to break out of her embarrassment with the help of a little anger. How dare this kid accuse her of wetting the bed?! Then again, that was hardly any worse than the reality. She sat down on the edge of Mary’s bed with a sigh, not exactly pleased when Hope sat down on the bed next to her, staring at her curiously.
There was something in the girl’s eyes, some wisdom well beyond her years… Despite herself, Jolene found words tumbling out of her mouth. “I-I just… Well, there’s just times…” She set the Goodnite down on the bed with a sigh. “I’ll put it back,” she said at last.
“No, go on,” Hope encouraged her, leaning forward.
And for some reason, she did. “You and the other girls are cool,” she started, unsure where that had come from, but letting herself go with it, “but taking care of you this summer… It’s not really my thing. I’d rather…”
“Be taken care of?” Jolene looked up at Hope, expecting to see the mocking that was missing from her voice in her eyes, but those were as serious as her tone. She nodded.
“It’s stupid,” Jolene shook her head. “I’m just… I don’t know, acting out, ’cause I didn’t want this job in the first place…” To her horror, she felt a tear start to slide down her cheek, her resentment welling up, mixing with the relief of actually saying as much of this as she could manage out loud, and the embarrassment of saying it to a little kid. It didn’t even make sense – she wanted someone to take care of her, to control her, in a way, but she got mad when her parents did just that?
Hope got up from the bed, gave her a hug. “I don’t think you should put it back,” she said. “She won’t miss it, right?”
Jolene nodded. “She has enough… I’m pretty sure she only wears at night.”
“Then keep it,” Hope told her. “I just came in to grab my towel, so I should probably get going…” Jolene nodded.
“You can’t tell anyone about this, either,” she said as Hope headed for the door again.
“About what?” Hope gave her a sly grin, and Jo couldn’t help but return it.
Three nights later, Jolene died.