Janet drove us to Oscar’s bar and parked in the alley around the back. There’s still a good hour before the opening. Inside, the barmen are arranging the tables and making sure everything looks perfect. Janet and I approach a couple of girls dressed in identical outfits to ours. “Janet I can’t believe you found a replacement for Lucy!” one of them exclaimed. “I thought you said everyone had turned you down.”
“They had.” Janet replied. “But that was before I asked….” her eyes turned upon me. “My brother!”
“There’s no way she’s a boy!”
“Hi.” I bashfully said.
“Oh my god you are!”
I felt more bashful than I’ve ever felt before. I didn’t know what to do other than pull an ‘eek’ face. Janet grabs my hand. “Peter… this is Zoe, and this is Claire.” she said. “Zoe and Claire, my little brother Peter.”
“Wow!” Zoe and Claire exclaimed. “You look amazing!”
“Well it’s all Janet’s work.” I shyly replied.
Zoe asked if all the hair coiled on the back of my head was my own. “No… that’s false… my own is desperately in need of cut.” I replied. Claire asked if was an actual cross-dresser. “Not usually.” I gulped.
“Oh… it’s just, you’ve got your ears pierced.” Claire said.
“Err… Janet pierced them earlier.” I replied. “They’re still a bit sore.”
“I bet they are… you’re not supposed to wear danglies for about a month or two.”
“I know but it’s just for today, then I’ll let them heal again.”
“Seems a bit drastic… actually piercing his ears, just for a few hours.” Zoe commented.
“It’s just a few minutes isn’t it.” I quizzed.
“Peter’s just here for the opening… filling in for Lucy on the podium.” Janet informed them. “We’ll easily cope afterwards.” she said. “I can’t imagine it getting too busy.”
“In that case, actually piercing his ears seems all the more drastic!”
“And he’s shaved his legs.” Claire noticed. “I though he was just wearing tights at first.”
“Well we had to do it properly… didn’t we Peter?” Janet said.
I nervously nodded. “My ears’ll heal and the hair’ll grow back.” I said, adding “I hope!”
After the surprise of Lucy’s stand-in being a boy, Claire and Zoe really warmed to their ‘honorary girl’. Janet fetched some drinks from the bar to settle our nerves and my nerves did feel settled…. until the other two podium girls arrived and after being introduced to Rebecca and Louise, we went though the whole ‘she’s your brother‘ routine all over again. Another drink quelled those nerves. “Right… Mike’s coming over.” Janet said. “Don’t let on that Peter’s a boy.” she instructed. “What?!” I thought. Janet turned to me “Peter… you’re Lucy… lets see how long it takes Mike to notice.”
“He’ll notice when I open my mouth.” I replied.
“Just smile and nod and sip your drink.” she said.
“Hello ladies!” Mike, the owner of the bar announced when he approached the six girls.
“Hi Mike.” they said in unison. I just smiled coyly, briefly acknowledging him before stirring and sipping my drink. It’s weird drinking through a straw but considering my lipstick, it makes perfect sense. My sister and Zoe exchange a bit of banter with their boss. The rest of us just smile and when Janet says “We’re really looking forward to it, aren’t we Lucy?” I just smile and nod and sip my drink.
“That’s the spirit girls!” Mike says. He checks his watch. “We’ve got fifteen minutes. I’d best check if that bloody press photographer has turned up yet.” he said before marching off.
“I can’t believe he thought I was Lucy.” I said.
“I don’t think he properly looked… he’s pretty stressed.” Louise reckoned. She cast her eyes around the refurbished bar. “I hope it goes well for him… he’s spent a fortune doing it up.”
“Looks pretty good.”
“Yeah… couldn’t look much worse though… it was a dive.”
“It wasn’t that bad.”
“Oh it was…. the carpets were sticky and walls were sweat stained.”
“I’ve never been before.” was the only contribution I could make.
“You are only sixteen Peter.” my sister reminded me.
“Don’t let Mike know he’s under age!”
“He’s with me… it’s fine.” Janet claimed.
“We’d best go outside.” Rebecca reckoned. “Only ten minutes to go.”
We finished the drinks and headed first to where the six big polystyrene letters were stacked and took one each. Janet’s got the O. I’ve got S. Zoe’s got C, Claire has A, Rebecca has the R and Louse has the other S.
“Oh god I’m crapping myself.” I said as I followed them outside.
“You’ll be fine!” Janet assured. “There’s quite a lot of people here.” she gasped, seeing a crowd of at least fifty or sixty people. The six podiums are arranged three on either side of the bar’s entrance. Checking we’ve got the correct letter and correct podium, we stand in position. I can tell that the others are getting nervous too but at least they’re girls… what if someone in the crowd yells ‘that bird’s a bloke‘ or something? It’s too late to back out now.