Andrew remembered that he had been so embarrassed that he had put his thumb in his mouth to hide the expression of humiliation on his face. The pediatrician had only smiled down at the regressive behavior of the little boy who still made messes and sucked his thumb like a baby. From little Andy’s behavior, it was obvious that his mother had made the correct diagnosis of temporary regression. Andy’s regression had probably been set off by some fear or new responsibility that he had not been able to deal with psychologically. The pediatrician had seen many other cases like little Andy’s and had always counseled the parents to address their child’s temporary problems with patience and love, even to the extent of putting them back in diapers and letting them drink from baby bottles when necessary. In a child of four, such regressions were so common as to almost to be expected and he had treated boys with the same behavior at ages six and seven. Usually when the child received the attention and love he needed, the child’s need to be a baby again disappeared within six months. From the mother’s caring attitude toward her little boy’s problems, the pediatrician doubted that his forced diapering was evidence of child abuse. After all, didn’t Andy suck his thumb in front of a stranger? If he had been forced into diapers against his will, he wouldn’t have behaved like an infant in front of his doctor.
When his mother explained that he had started peeing and pooping himself both day and night, the pediatrician had nodded knowledgeably and agreed with his mother’s solution to the problem, noting that little boys mature later than little girls in order to reassure her.
By the end of the week, the tearful little boy apologized to his mother profusely in baby talk and promised that he was ready to be potty trained again. He assured her that he would be good if she would only allow him to be a “big boy” again. Andrew’s mother had relented somewhat and put him on probation. Instead of being fed puréed baby food, he would be allowed to eat toddler-style finger food while sitting in his high chair. She also decided that he “might” be big enough to use a “tippy cup” instead of a baby bottle. On the question of being allowed to wear regular underwear, however, his mother was firm. He had to “prove” himself before he could wear “big boy” pants again. She told him that as far as she was concerned, he wasn’t potty trained and would have to show her he knew how to use a regular potty instead of his pants. His mother brought out his old potty chair and made him wear training pants for a month and use the potty seat instead of the toilet. Once he was in training pants again, she took his old potty chair out of storage and placed it in the family room next to the TV instead of the bathroom where it had been kept when he was potty-trained the first time. Andrew’s mother felt that the shame and embarrassment of having all of his playmates know that he had to use a potty chair would be a strong inducement for him to behave himself.
The next week, when her friends came over for a visit, she found an excuse to make him stand in front of her while she sat on the couch in the family room and then stripped him buck naked in front of her friends as if he was a tot with no sense of modesty and who lacked the ability to undress himself. As the women tittered behind their coffee cups, she demanded that he use the potty then and there in front of everyone. The children that accompanied their mothers and with whom Andrew normally played stood in open-mouthed shock when they saw their ostensible peer being treated like a two-year-old. As Andrew squatted and strained to pee on command within the confines of the small potty seat, the children overheard Andrew’s mother telling their mothers that he had only graduated from diapers the week before and hooted in derision. The group of children quickly recovered their aplomb and branded Andrew with the shameful name of “Baby” when they observed his bottom being wiped before his mother forced him to lay on the floor so she could put his training pants over his legs. Instantly, he became a pariah to the boys in the room; they absolutely refused to have anything to do with the “Baby” out of a fear of being association with such a babyish kid. The girls however, thought he was adorable; they treated him as if he was a younger sibling who was just out of diapers.