Gail chuckled at the thought and smiled as she watched Krystyn carry Jimmy out to the minivan. Krystyn certainly had a way with words. Gail imagined that even if she hadn’t been a witch, Krystyn could have reduced an adult male to psychological infancy with the power of her words alone. The mental image of Krystyn upbraiding a full grown adult man until he wet and messed himself as he tried to gurgle inarticulate apologies for his infantile behavior made Gail smile as she walked back into the nursery. She decided that one day she should try to convince Krystyn to do exactly that to a boyfriend or husband of one of her co-workers just so she could be there and watch the fun. Gail hated men and all they stood for. As far as she was concerned, Krystyn had the right idea. Men should all be reduced to the stature and status of infants that they psychologically truly were. Once men had been rendered intellectually and emotionally powerless, they would become doll-like playthings for women to dress up and control as was only proper.
The utter helplessness of her husband Eddie during her first marriage had soured her on men in general. His mother had been an absolute failure when it came to civilizing her son. He hadn’t even known how to bathe himself properly, much less put down the seat on the toilet. On their wedding night, they had had a flat tire and he been completely baffled by the simple procedure of changing a car’s tire even though she tried to give him instructions on how to proceed. Gail had changed the tire herself, ruining her pristine white wedding dress in the process. He had proved himself helpless in other ways too; when she got him in the bedroom on their wedding night, she discovered that he was a virgin and had no idea of how to make love to a woman. On the second day of her marriage, she realized that she had married a virtual child. If she left him alone, he would starve because he had no idea about how to make a meal for himself. He could no more take care of himself than a Kindergartner could. As a driver, he was dangerous, he never thought ahead and got into the proper lane, but switched at the last minute when he saw the sign that indicated it was forbidden to change lanes. He didn’t know how to put oil in his car or fill the gas tank. He always went to full service stations and put everything on his gasoline charge card.
He couldn’t even operate a microwave oven, for God’s Sake! His personal habits were atrocious; he never wiped himself properly after going to the bathroom or flushed the toilet unless she reminded him. He couldn’t tie his own tie or keep track of the money in his bank account. Bills went unpaid until the utilities threatened to turn them off. In desperation, Gail had taken over all the finances and made him give her his paycheck every payday. Gail put him on a small allowance and got their finances straight in six months. She thought that five dollars a week was an appropriate amount of money for a man who behaved like a four-year-old. In order to reduce their expenses, she took away his car and drove it herself. He pouted for the first six weeks, but he finally accepted the situation passively.
Gail added or changed the car’s oil as necessary and pumped the gas herself at the lower-priced self-serve gas stations to save money. Every day she would shake the sleepy-eyed man awake, get him up from bed, send him to the shower and help dry him off before dressing him. Then she would feed him breakfast before she took him to work. When they arrived each day at his place of work, she would comb his hair a final time before she put his brown lunch bag in hand like a little boy being brought to school by his mother. In the evenings, she would pick him up and take him home to eat a hot home-cooked meal after she had undressed him and put him in a robe until was time to go to sleep.