Mom came over and had me stand as she gently wiped my privacy. It was a thrill the way she did it. Mom smiled tenderly. She said softly and lovingly in a strange compelling voice, Would Amy like to be baby for awhile? On impulse I couldnt understand or resist at the moment I said, Yes. The impulse was overwhelming and made me feel wonderful. I couldnt resist. Something in moms voice was so comforting and filled me with trust and contentment. I love mommy so much. I need to please mommy.
I was compelled by a rush of wonderful emotions from the voice of mommy to follow Amy, not John memories. This was relief from the confusion and anguish from earlier when I attempted to follow John memories. I realized the less I attempted to be John and the more I attempted to be Amy, the less confusion and the less mental torment.
He realized this is one of those strange dream fantasies from when he was a kid come true. He cannot hang on … he lost the battle.
I knew this was who Amy was. I knew I could absolutely trust this beautiful woman … she was my real mother … She was mommy … I love and want to please mommy so badly … I let go of the other memories and became Amy, the little nine year old girl whos nick name is Miki, who very much wanted to be baby. I love mommy and will please her to the best of my ability. I am Miki. I know this to be true. Mommy is very pleased with Miki. THIS IS WHO I AM! All vestiges of torment ended abruptly.
Mom seemed excessively strong I am a small and petit girl though. She picked me up and cooed to me as she gave me a loud smooch. I giggled happily as she swung me around and placed me on a table she had released from the wall. She blew into my belly button and made a raspberry noise as she tickled me. I giggled and kicked my feet like a little baby should. I was thinking how much fun mommy is.
I suddenly realize what Im doing. Confusion at how I am acting like a baby. Disgust at the emotions I feel about this. I am helpless to stop. What is going on? I am willingly doing this? I love being baby! I force him away again. It was so easy to get rid of him now.
Mom seems to sense my anxiety. She rubs her nose to mine and tells me gently how much she loves baby. She tickles me softly in my ribs and I kick and squirm happily. The conflict ended as soon as it started. John left, I am baby.
Mom has me on my back and has me bend my knees and spread my legs. All I want to do at this point is to please mommy like a good baby. She rubs me all over with a sweet smelling oil. She is caressing me with each gentle pass of her hand.
Mom says softly, Well make you a sweet baby. I feel something pleasant and cold enter me. This cold and the intensely pleasant tingle it created spreads from there all through my body. She is done. I am helpless. She turns me gently on my tummy. I am becoming even more helpless and innocently euphoric. I make very sweet little girl noises as Mom coos to me and encourages me to relax and be baby. Mom begins to lovingly rub me with another wonderfully scented oil. The feeling is incredibly, intensely euphoric. I feel a tingling warm wetness spread through out my body and gain in intensity with each soft caress of moms hands. This sensation by no means detracts from the tingling cold that has spread through me.
I feel all the tension and fear going away as my mind slips into a wonderful simple innocent euphoria. I am baby … I am helpless to think beyond this, babies dont know how.