Mom turns me over on my back and tickles me again.
I giggle happily and squeal and kick and squirm.
Mom kisses me again and says, Miki, you are an adorable baby.
She lifts me by my heels and places a very soft diaper under me and sets me on it. It is very soft and very warm and excessively thick.
She powders me … I smell honeysuckle. She rubs and caresses me gently… I love mommy.
She kisses me again and tells me how much she loves me and no one will ever hurt me again. She tickles the bottom of my feet … I squeal in delight.
She pins the diaper on me. She puts a plastic lined rumba panty on me and then hugs and kisses me some more.
Come with me baby, she says to me and turns to finish cleaning up for a second..
I go to get off the table and discover suddenly things are different for me now.
I am drastically different now than I was before she put me in diapers.
I cant do this … I need moms help so I dont fall off the table and hurt myself.
I dont know how to get off the table and loose my balance …
I am falling. I am helpless to stop myself and Im going to get seriously hurt.
Mom immediately is there and catches me.
Be careful, Miki she cautions, You are a little baby now and have different needs.
I realize suddenly I have started sucking my thumb. I stop.
I have a sudden attack of confusion, dual memories fight for dominance for a second.
He has nothing to stand on or to grab … I am a little baby girl now.
Nothing he is doing or says makes any sense to me or even matters.
Babies dont understand those kind of things.
There is absolutely no understanding or interest in me and he can do nothing.
I am innocent and he can do nothing here. I am confused a little.
Mom realizes this and is there with hugs and caresses that comfort and sooth the anxiety away.
This is important. I love mommy.
I have some difficulty walking normally. I find myself unable to keep up with mommy.
Mom gently holds my hand and walks slowly as I follow her into a room … its a nursery complete with a crib and toys and everything a baby girl could ever need or want.
Mom sits in a big thick rocking chair … I am so over joyed. I come up to her and she lifts me into her lap.
I am lying in her lap looking into her extremely beautiful face. I am totally lost in the warm glow of mommys love.
She smiles and hugs me again. Its so nice to have you back Miki, I love you so much, she said as she kissed me again.
My mind was loosing itself in the simple euphoria that was engulfing me.
The taste of the milk on my lips and I was helpless and started to suckle.
This was important. Breakfast.
Baby understands she is hungry.
Not that other noise. Baby suckles and is content.