Two days passed and Tori still had not responded to any of my text messages. I was not surprised and presumed that her dad took her phone away. Nevertheless, it was a long two days. Not in the mood to anything, I just spent the days sulking in my room, blaring music from my sound system. There is something about music when it is played so loud that you feel the vibrations coursing throughout your entire body. To an outsider, comfort may be the last thing they would expect to come from music containing persistent screaming and demonic growls, but it was the only thing that gave me any. I barely ate anything in that time, either.
Thoughts raced through my mind. I couldn’t help but question myself on how cowardly I acted. Sure, I tried to protect Tori, but in the end I deserted her. The scene played through my mind a million times. Each time, I tried to find a way to handle the situation better and be a hero to Tori, but it always ended the same way as it did the other night. I would’ve stayed in my room the entire day again if my thoughts weren’t interrupted by my phone vibrating in my pocket. Thinking it was Tori, I quickly took my phone out. I had received a text from an unknown number. Taken aback slightly, I opened the text.
“hey steve. this is kelly. tori is grounded and doesnt have her phone. shes sneaking out this friday to go to sams party and see you since your bands playing there. cya then.”
The text confused me. I never heard that Sam was having a party, let alone that my band was playing there. Wouldn’t the guys have told me about it? That’s when it struck me. I haven’t heard from any of my band mates since the battle of the bands catastrophe. The incident must have embarrassed them as much as it embarrassed me. I quickly corrected myself. Nobody, not one single person, could have been humiliated as me. They may have been associated to me, but they were not me. Had they already found someone to replace me? Tori obviously thought I was still in the band and she expected me to be at the party. That meant I had to be there, whether in the band or not. But was I even invited? Would I be welcome if I just showed up. After all, Sam never told me about it and we talked every day at school. Once again, my mind was going crazy, over-thinking the situation.
I couldn’t take it anymore and decided to call Alex. The phone rang several times and I began to wonder if he would even answer. Just as I had given up hope, the ringing stopped and I could hear Alex’s voice.
“Hey Steve. What’s up?” He said casually.
“What’s up? What’s up?” I responded, frustration quickly setting in. “Is that really how you’re going handle this?”
“Dude, take a chill pill, man. Why are you freakin’ out?”
“Hmm, let me see. I’m not really sure. Maybe it has something to do with the fact that you guys are playing a gig at a party and didn’t even think about telling me about it?”
“Oh… You heard about that?”
“Yeah, Kelly texted me about it.”
“Since when did you talk to Kelly? I thought she hated you.”
“Yeah, I’m pretty sure she does, but it was the only way Tori could tell me she was sneaking out to go to the party and see me.”
“Wait, what? Sneak out? What happened.”
“Ummm,” I started. I didn’t want to explain the actual situation. “It’s a long story. Let’s just say her dad does not like me at all anymore.”
“Oh. That sucks.”
“It sure does. Now imagine how I feel when I hear that you guys are playing a gig without me.”
“Look, Steve, I didn’t want to do this. It was the other guys.”
“That’s bullshit and you know it. You’re the singer. If you wanted me to play, I’d be practicing with you guys right now.”
“Okay, so maybe I didn’t try very hard. They do have a point, though. It doesn’t look good if a metal band’s lead guitarist… well you know…”
“What?” I asked harshly. I couldn’t believe it, the guys were really dropping me from the band because I was temporarily incontinent.
“Well, you know…”
“C’mon, say it. What are you afraid of, Alex?”
“Fine. It doesn’t look good if your lead guitarist is still in diapers. Happy?”
“Still in diapers? Still? Has it ever crossed your mind that it was a repercussion of the bullet wound, or are you too thick to think that through? How long have you known me?”
“Well, yeah, I kind of figured, but it still doesn’t look good.”
“I don’t believe this. I get shot and I’m a hero, but if it causes me to piss myself, I’m suddenly something to hide in a fucking closet?”
“Please don’t make this harder than it has to, Steve.”
“I’ll make it as hard as I fucking want to! Who’d you even get to replace me?”
“Well, nobody yet. We don’t have time before Friday, so I’m playing rhythm and Zack’s playing lead.”
“Oh hell, Alex. You know just as well as I do that you can’t play guitar well enough to do that and that there’s no way Zack can play lead. You guys will sound like shit, and I know you guys know you do.”
“Yeah, well, what else can we do, eh?”
“How about letting me play? Let me show everyone that it doesn’t matter what I’m wearing. You know I’m one of the best guitarists in the area. Hell, I wrote the music to all our songs. Nobody plays them like I do.” I said with force. Alex didn’t respond at first. What must have been fifteen seconds felt like an hour. Finally, Alex broke the silence.
“Okay. Fine. I’ll tell the guys. We practice at one tomorrow at Joe’s house. Don’t expect a warm greeting from the guys, though.” Alex said, defeated and hung up. Although it was a weak victory, it was just what I needed to lift my spirits. This was my chance to redeem myself.