The players came back over, Christopher thumping Mr Goldberg on the back and congratulating him on a well played game. “Great game!” he announced to everyone.
“Don’t think we could have asked for a more beautiful afternoon!” Mr Goldberg added.
“Yeah and that pig,” Mrs. Goldberg said licking the tips of her fingers. She looked at me kind of odd and made me wonder if she and ma knew about the pipe too. I was sure they hadn’t seen, I mean we were real careful… but then again.
Ma patted her big belly and said, “I think the twins enjoyed them most.”
“TWINS?” Christopher shouted as he was sitting down next to Meggin. He was so shocked that he missed the lawn chair and fell over backward. Everyone laughed so hard.
Pa, still laughing at Christopher , said, “Of course your ma isn’t having twins!” and then turning to ma he asked with concern, “You’re not having twins right?” He then looked at Doc Wilson, “Tell her she can’t have twins!”
“Oh dear you’re so funny!” ma said dryly.
Benjamin made the grossest comment, “I bet the baby comes out covered in barbeque sauce!” and then laughed. You should have seen Mrs. Goldberg’s face. I thought she was going to be sick right then and there.
As pa was heading for the lawn chair next to ma he reached down and with one hand snatched Benjamin off the ground and dropped him on his lap after he was seated. Benjamin giggled with joy, “Hey, that was fun!”
Ma said, “Oh honey, don’t get him all sickly again!”
Pa poked Benjamin in the nose with a single finger and jokingly said, “You puke on me again and I’ll tan your hide and hang it on the back of the barn next to your little brother!”
I ain’t sure if Benjamin was acting or if he forgot that quickly about the pipe but at any rate he pushed pa’s hand away from his nose and cuddled up to pa with he head nuzzled under pa’s chin. It took nearly a full minute before Benjamin rose back up and squeeled, “I ain’t got a younger brother!”
Catherine laughed, “Took him long enough!
The suspense was getting to Nugget and he was beginning to crack. He was sitting closet to pa and began to giggle quietly. Pa tickled Nugget’s ribs with the toe of his boot and said, “How about I cover you in barbeque sauce and drop on you in pig pin?” to which Basset replied, “No, they still wouldn’t eat something that’s as ugly as him!”
Nugget sprang up and launched himself at Basset but Mr Goldberg caught him in mid air, spun him like a baton before tossing him over to Christopher .
“Don’t give him to me; I don’t won’t him! He smells like barbeque sauce and grape Kool-Aid!” Christopher teased.
Nugget scrambled away from Christopher and sat back down on the ground, this time on my other side away from pa’s foot and everyone else’s reach.
While all this was going on those of us involved in the conspiracy were watching Basset out of the corner of our eyes. I thought Vincent-Lee had given us away when Basset reached for his pipe and Vincent-lee gasped with anticipation.
Half a dozen pairs of eyes watched him intently. Not a one of us so much as giggled or made a peep to give Basset any clue that he was about to be prank. My legs began to tremble with expectancy and a good deal of suspense was caused by the fact that none of us knew just how he was going to react.
Out of consideration of ma and the baby Basset walked over to the furthest tree, about twenty feet downwind before he struck the match. He held the flame over the bowl and sucked. The tobacco on top ignited and glowed and Basset’s head was enveloped in a cloud of blue smoke.
“Ahhh!” he sighed, blowing smoke through his nostrils. “There’s nothing like a good pipe after a good meal and a good game of Horseshoes.”
Still we waited. We could hardly bear the suspense. Meggin, who evidently knew what we’d done, couldn’t bear it at all and asked with superb innocence, “What sort of tobacco do you put in that thing.
“Captain Black!” Basset answered proudly, “It’s the best there is. Folks will smoke all sorts of disgusting scented tobaccos, but not me!”
“I didn’t know they had different flavors,” Meggin went on.
When I glanced over at ma she looked like she was about to bust at any second. I knew for sure then that they had seen us and seemed to be enjoying it as much as we were. I knew she felt; it was exciting and funny at the same time.
“Oh yes, of course they do!” Basset said giving his pipe another puff. “All tobaccos are dissimilar to one with a discerning palate. Captain Black is refreshing and nothing short of breathtaking.” Basset was yapping on but that didn’t much matter ’cause I wasn’t really listening to him, I was just watching and waiting for him to take another puff or two.
Connie had come over, settled beside me putting her arm around my shoulders and snuggling her cheek against mine. I was so keyed in on Basset that I forgot she was beside me so when she whispered into my ear, “Do you need changed?” I jumped ’cause her breath tickled the inside of my ear. I shrugged her off with the jerk of my shoulder and whispered, “Not now!”
And then Basset lifted the pipe to his lips once more and all of a sudden he let go a howl and began to jump around like his britches were on fire. His pipe shot from his mouth and landed a couple yards away. Basset began to cough and thump his chest all the while still jumping up and down like an overgrown bunny. His face was all screwed up like he was trying to poop out a sharp pointy rock or something.
“What in tarnation?” Doc Wilson shouted and rushed over to offer aid by thumping him on the back. I don’t know what thumping him like that was supposed to do but from the look of it, it seemed to just make things worse.
The whole lot of us stared at Basset spellbound and about to burst.
Basset somehow found the ability to cry out, “I’m on fire inside!” before sputtering into a fit of coughing.
Pa musta known something was up ’cause he went over, picked up the pipe and sniffed it.
“Deep breaths, deep breaths!” Doc Wilson said over Bassets coughing.
Basset fell against the tree and breathed in deep breaths of autumn air and in another minute or so he was on the mend.
“What on earth caused all that?” Doc Wilson asked.
“Think I know,” Pa said looking right at us and holding up the pipe.
“What was in my pipe?” Basset asked going over and snatching it away from pa. He tapped the contents out and sniffed. “LEAVES!” he said looking at Nugget.
Nugget squeeled with delight, “He’s figured it out! Run!”
Well seeing how sickly Benjamin, Vincent-Lee and I had been and the fact that we’d not had a decent meal in nearly a weeks time, we were in no shape to walk let alone run. Like a fox after a squirl Basset took off after Nugget.
“Run Nugget, RUUUNNNN!” I shouted.
Of course Basset didn’t catch Nugget. He was still suffering from sucking down the smoke from them leaves to try running too much.
Before Basset came back over ma suggested we head back up to our room to, ‘REST’ and we sure didn’t waste no time at all getting the heck out of there. All the way into the house we were laughing and falling all over each other.
Not long after Nugget came storming up the stairs and into our room. “Hide me!” he cried and that’s just what we did.
Basset came in about the time the three of us had gotten into bed, “Did he come in here?” he asked looking like he wanted Nuggets head on a plate. We innocently shook our heads and from half-way down the steps we heard him call out, “You got to sleep sometime you little…”
Too keep Basset from getting Nugget I asked ma and pa if Nugget could sleep over and they said yes. Mr Goldberg thought it was probably a good idea and laughed when he said to Nugget, “Top notch show son! Top notch!”