Kevin = Christopher Kathy = Catherine Karen = Connie Kyle-Lee = Vincent Kane = Benjamin

The following morning each of us kids got ourselves out of bed, washed and ready for school however a couple of us had to have some help from one or more of our brothers and sisters. Ok, I was the only one that needed help but that doesn’t mean that I couldn’t have done everything myself if I really wanted too! Well, maybe not. I was going back to school today, well that was the plan although I wasn’t so sure I would be able to sit down for all or even part of the school day. My sister Connie had come into the bathroom as I was drying off and offered to help get me re-diapered and to make sure my bottom was OK.

“What if it hurts to sit on the bus or in my classes?” I asked Connie and the two of us walked back to my room.

Connie paused to think and then patted my wet hair. “Why don’t you lie down on your bed? I have an idea.”

I took off my towel but before I lied down I quickly made my bed. I was very careful as I lowered my bottom down on the edge of the mattress and I was sure glad I was careful ’cause I felt a twinge of tenderness in my rear.

Connie chuckled and I hadn’t realized until that second that she had been watching me as I’d settled myself down.

“Still sensitive huh?” she said.

My head bobbed up and down like a cork on a fishin’ line and it struck me that I had been holding my breath. I exhaled apprehensively and replied, “Not too bad.”

“Well, I think I have the answer for that,” she said holding up a handful of cloth diapers.

“You going to use all those?” I said with wide eyes.

She smiled to try to reassure me, “Well it should give you plenty of padding so that you can sit through the whole day of school.”

She used four of the cloth diapers, pinning each one on me before sliding the next one under my bottom. She had pinned a fifth one on me but she had to take it back off ’cause my plastic pants wouldn’t go up over all five. My school pants were quite a challenge too. Connie had to have me lay back down on my bed to get them zipped up all the way and that was without my shirt tucked in.

“But I ain’t allowed to have my shirt un-tucked at school.” I said.

She had me stand as normally as I could, given the multiple cotton layers that were bunched up between my legs. With an appraising grin she knelt in front of me and began to fold the bottom of my shirt under itself and then using more diaper pins she pinned it from underneath. I wasn’t so sure her idea was going to work until I put on my school jacket.

“Hey that ain’t so very bad!” I exclaimed and then asked, “Can you tell I got on a diaper?”

Connie smiled and I knew it was fake, “Well you don’t have on ‘A’ diaper, you’re wearing four.”

She must have seen the reluctance on my face ’cause she softened her voice as she added, “Listen, if you don’t want to go to school today I will tell pa you are staying home.”

I never did get to answer ‘cause right then we heard someone coming down the drive and then Vincent shouted, “Hey that big ol’ funeral car is back!”

Benjamin could also be heard, “Stop shouting you will wake up ma!”

Benjamin appeared at the door of our room out of breath from having run all the way up the steps, “Nevada your friend is here and I think he brought FBI too.” Until that second I had honestly throught that Nugget’s phone call last night was just a weird dream I had.

Connie gave me one more check, having me turn around to see me at every angle before telling me I looked handsome. “Yeah you’re pretty all right too!” I said with a playful girn.

It was difficult to walk, let alone try to run down to see what was going on. When I got to the kitchen I found Nugget and some man in what looked like a really expensive suit. They were standing there talking to pa; the man in the suit was shaking pa’s hand and talking really funny. It was English that he was speaking but it weren’t regular English that’s for sure. Pa looked more nervous than a long-tailed cat in a room full of rockin’ chairs.

Nugget spied me first, “Hey there you are!” he said and thrust out the wrong shakin’ hand just as he’d done when I had first met him only a few short days ago.

“Hiya Nugget,” I said using my left hand too and tried to take in the moment.

Nugget turned to the man in the suit, “Father?” he waited for the man to acknowledge him before continuing, “This is my friend that I was telling you about.”

Suddenly everything made sense; the man in the expensive suit wasn’t with the FBI, I never really thought he was but I also didn’t have a better explanation then what Benjamin had come up with. However, I made a mental note to slug Benjamin the first chance I got. The man was Nugget’s father, and… “Oh what did he say his pa was?” I thought to myself, “Oh yeah, the Lieutenant Governor of Ohio,” and my pa was acting all nervous ’cause it was the first time ever that he done met someone so important like that. I must admit I was feeling kind of small and insignificant too.

Nugget’s father turned to face me as Nugget introduced me to him, “Nevada this is my father, George Goldberg but you can just call him George if you like.”

My pa spoke up and directed his words to me, “Uh, that’s Mr. Goldberg.”

Nugget’s pa smiled at my pa and then to me as he extended his hand and I gave him mine. He shook my whole arm so hard I thought it was going to pop off at my shoulder. I wish bigger people would stop doing that to me ’cause it hurts. Also, I couldn’t help but notice that when he smiled he showed off nearly every tooth in his whole mouth and boy they were all sparkly and white like new snow.

“How smashing! It is a pleasure to finally meet you Nevada.” He paused and squeezed my hand tighter, “Do you mind terribly if I call you Nevada?”
I shook my head hoping he wouldn’t break my fingers.

“Splendid! Splendid indeed!” he said, “Jr. has been talking about you for days. I feel as though I have already met you.”

Nugget made an annoyed tick sound with his tongue and I guessed he didn’t like being called Jr.

When Mr. Goldberg finally let go of my arm I wanted to rub my shoulder but I didn’t want to risk insulting him. I was more than a little relieved when Nugget jumped in between us and started talking again.

“So, I finally heard yesterday why you have not been in school the past couple days.” He said this in a kind of hush-hush matter so as not to embarrass me.

I could hear Mr. Goldberg telling my pa, “Well I was absolutely gutted with our driver, that’s the gentleman I was telling you about last night, anyway I was wholly displeased when my son recounted the episode.”

Our pas continued to talk but I couldn’t follow what either was saying ’cause Nugget was talking louder and was being very excited. Plus Benjamin, Vincent, Connie and Kristen were all talking too.

“I am sorry Nevada, I was so mad at myself when I found out that I got you into trouble.” Nugget said to me, “I begged my father to call or come here to fix everything, he’s really good at that sort of thing. Well he did both now didn’t he?” Nugget smiled obviously pleased with himself.

 

I was about to say something to Nugget when pa discharged a boisterous chuckle, slapped Mr. Goldberg on the upper arm and the two of them laughed loudly. Pa looked as though he was relaxing some I think. Then pa turned and was going to lead Mr. Goldberg outside but paused just long enough to reached out and pat my cheek. I glanced up to see him nod and I knew he was telling me that it was OK for me to get a ride from Nugget anytime.

Nugget must have picked up on pa’s unspoken message too ’cause after both of our pas were outside and my bothers and sisters went back to getting breakfast he said, “So would you like to ride to school with us today?”

I didn’t need any time at all to make up my mind, “Yeah, you betcha!”

Momentarily looking serious Nugget leaned forward and quietly asked, “Oh hey, did you know you forgot your books the other day?”

I shrugged, “That’s alright, I didn’t miss them,” and we both laughed.

It was then that I think maybe Nugget noticed first time that something wasn’t quite right with my school uniform and I had enough time to get concerned that he was going to say something about it but mercifully he didn’t. It was very much like someone wiped the thought from his mind; he grinned mischievously and said, “Oh man you missed the funnies thing the day before yesterday.”

“Yeah?” I said glad that he was bringing up another subject.

Before he could tell me what it was Connie interrupted, “Little pants, what do you want for breakfast?”

Connie realized straight away what she had called me in front of my new friend and redness spread across her face and up into her ears. I think maybe even her hair turned a little red.

Had the subject been left at that I think I might have been able to accept the measure of embarrassment it caused me but you got to know that Vincent couldn’t keep his food-trap closed.

With a mouth full of toast Vincent mumbled, “I think we should start calling him big pants instead!”

SMACK!

THWACK!

CRACK!

Vincent received three blows to the back of his head in succession, one from each of my three sisters.

“Hey what was that for?” he whimpered.

Kristen decided Vincent hadn’t learned his lesson and while Vincent had his back to her she bit him hard, right on the back of his left arm. She didn’t let go either, not right away and it must’a hurt like the dicken’s ’cause his mouth was wide open but no sound was coming out.

Nugget laughed through the whole ordeal and taking hold of my arm he said, “Boy I wish I had a family like yours.”

I leaned toward his ear and whispered, “I’ll sell you a couple of them cheep!” Nugget sniggered at this.

Using a dishtowel Connie swatted at Kristen who broke her hold on Vincent. Vincent ran from the room holding his arm and I think maybe he might have been crying.

Kristen sat down at the table and smiled at Nugget with big flirtive eyes.

I don’t think that Nugget picked up on it; either that or he was choosing to ignore her. He turned his back on the lot of them and said to me, “You like bagels? We have bagels in the car.”

I wasn’t sure how to answer and since neither pa nor ma was around just then I looked past Nugget to Connie who simply shrugged, “Hey, one last meal for me to cook!” and smiled though noticeably still embarrassed by her and Vincent’s comments about my overly diapered bottom.

Nugget gave my arm a firm tug and I was yanked out the door and onto the porch. As we were stepping off the porch we both spotted our pa’s coming out of the barn talking up a storm and I was about to ask Nugget where Basset was when a terrible ruckus could be heard coming down the drive. We all looked toward the sound and saw that there was a pickup truck flying down our gravel drive kicking up a dust storm behind it. Whoever was driving that truck was driving like they were on their way to a fire or trying to run from a jealous husband. Whiskey started growling and barking which got the chickens all worked up too.

What happened next sort of happened so fast that it seemed like it was all over before I even knew something was happening? The truck skidded to a stop only a few feet from the limo and it was several seconds before the cloud of dust settled enough to see that it was Meggin Griffith’s daddy that had been behind the wheel of that truck.

Mr. Griffith jumped from his truck cussing and carrying on like a Wildman growed in the jungle. All of a sudden Basset came out from behind the steering wheel of the limousine like he’d been fired from a ten-ton-cannon. Right before I seen Bassett tackled Mr. Griffith to the ground I seen a bright flash of light, like someone had just taken my picture. Like I said, everything seemed to happen so fast and thank goodness Basset was there or else I betcha pa or Mr. Griffith might have started fight’n or maybe even killed each other.

Mr. Griffith and Basset hit the ground hard and pa, Mr. Goldberg, Nugget and I raced over and arrived just in time to see Basset putting a big silver gun to Mr. Griffith’s head. I guessed that the flash I’d seen was the morning sun gleaming off that big silver hand gun.