Martin thought for a moment. “I never thought I’d be telling anyone this, but you honestly need to be more selfish. You don’t think about what you want nearly enough.”
Hailey her father’s suggestion odd, but she knew exactly what he meant. Erin always focused way too much on whether she was in the way of other people at the expense of her own feelings.
Erin seemed shocked that someone would even suggest that. “But I could never do that… my problems are my responsibility.”
“Erin, you’re part of our family. Don’t ever be afraid to ask any of us for help. We really won’t mind. I know you’ve had a lot happen to you recently, and I’ll respect you if you want to keep it private, but if you ever do want someone to talk to about anything, we won’t think you’re imposing on us. You can talk to me, your aunt, or Hailey any time, and I’m sure every one of us would be glad to help you.”
“Maybe,” Erin replied, and she left it at that. As much as they claimed they wanted to take on her problems, she doubted they wanted to handle what she’d been trying to keep down deep inside her for the past few years. She was ugly on the inside and she knew it; it was better for them if they didn’t ever have to see her emotionally naked.
The conversation strayed back to small talk, mostly discussions about which rides each had enjoyed the most. The tightness in Erin’s abdomen was beginning to feel a little bit stronger, and now that it was more perceptible, she could recognize the feeling for what it was. It wasn’t nausea at all; instead, Erin realized that she would need to have a bowel movement soon.
The trip to the park hadn’t taken much more than an hour, so it would probably be another half hour or so before they arrived home. That should be plenty of time, she figured. With her urge at the level it was, she knew from experience that she could last at least an hour before she’d have to start fighting her body to keep from having an accident.
She was wearing a diaper, but as much as she accepted that she needed to wet it occasionally, she did not want to soil it. She could remember a few soiling accidents she’d had in the past, and none of them felt particularly pleasant. She doubted that filling her diaper would feel any better. So she’d simply hold it until she got home, and use the toilet when she got there.