Since the lamp looked like it was the oldest piece, it was probably the most valuable.
I left it for last. If I damaged any pieces I wanted the damaged piece to be the least valuable in the collection.
I washed the lamp in warm water and let it dry in the kitchen drainboard. (This is where the story gets strange!)
When it dried, I tried to buff out the green patina with the cloth.
All of a sudden the damn thing started hissing at me.
I dropped it on the floor; I guess I thought there was some vicious insect inside.
The lid, which had been corroded in place, popped off and rolled on the floor in circles.
Then a green gas started coming out of the lamp.
It was horrible; it smelled like something had been dead a week.
I screamed for my husband and woke him up.
He stumbled out of the bedroom and found me in the kitchen, knee-deep in a reeking green fog.
He shouted at me and demanded to know what I had done.
The mist gathered itself up in the center of the kitchen and formed itself into a tall column, then began swirling around.
My husband panicked and tried to drag me from the kitchen.
I couldn’t leave, I was fascinated.
It looked like I had a miniature tornado in my kitchen.
(Really, I’m not making this up. It really happened!)
When the tornado took the shape of a man, my husband froze.
I mean he couldn’t move.
He was absolutely terrified.
The mist solidified into a green-skinned, seven-foot tall, muscular humanoid with Semitic facial features and naked except for a tight little white loincloth.
It stretched, smiled and then it spoke;
“Ahh……..After seven thousand years I am free again.
Who art thou mortal, that thou hast freed me? I would reward thee for thine deed.,” he boomed down at me.
“Me?,” I asked, “I’m nobody. You want to talk to my husband!”
The genie laughed and said,
“No milady, it is thee I wouldst to speak to, for it is thee who freed me from the accursed lamp. What is your desire? I am not great among genies, but I will attempt to fulfill thine wishes. Dost thou wish to be wealthy?”
“Wealthy?,” asked my husband, suddenly awakening from his trance. “You can make me wealthy?”
The genie turned, cast a baleful eye on my husband and said, “I spoke not to thee, son-of-slime.
Interrupt me not whilst I bargain with the lady.
Else thou fash me unduly and I smite thee!” My husband quailed and slipped behind me.
“Some protector he is, hiding behind his wife!”, I thought.
“Bargain?,” I queried.
“Yes, milady, a bargain. Thou hast done me a service and honor requires that the debt be repaid. What wouldst thou have me do?’
My husband nudged me in the back and whispered “wealth!”
The genie glared at him severely and said, “Silence, worm!”
I told him, “My husband wishes for me to ask for wealth and I would like to please him.
Could I ask for that for the both of us and still ask for something myself?”
The genie smiled and said, “Thy generosity does thee credit, milady. What dost thou wish for thyself?”
“I would like to have a baby,” I said.
The genie frowned sadly and said, “If it is thy wish to be with child, then I cannot fulfill thine desire milady.
Some fates are written in the heavens.
Prithee Milady, choose another wish.”
I tried again, “My husband has said he would like to be young again so that he could live his life over and not make mistakes.
Is that possible to do that while keeping all his memories and mental skills?”
The genie chuckled and said,
“No, milady. It is not possible to live without making mistakes, else I would not have spent seven thousand years in a lamp.
However, it is possible for ye to be younger, perhaps twenty-three years old, and retain all your mental abilities and memories.
However, thy wish Milady would be subject to some conditions.”
“And what are these conditions?,” I asked.