She sat him on the floor while she put the groceries away, then picked him up and went to the stove. She held him on her hip while she warmed a bottle of formula in a quart pan full of water on the stove. Diane carried him to the bedroom, sat down in her rocking chair and sat him up in her lap. She offered him the bottle of formula, which he grabbed eagerly from her hand. He surrounded the nipple with his mouth and suckled hungerly. Diane smiled at his behavior with maternal patience and understanding; she was pleased by his healthy appetite. She held the bottle for him while he nursed and then burped him when he had finished half of the bottle. They sat and rocked for hours, the mother and her baby, delighting in each other’s company and affections. Later, as she drifted off to sleep with her infant son Philip cuddled at her side, she had realized that she hadn’t loved her husband half as much as she loved her sweet little baby boy.
Philip bubbled with glee as he reached up and plucked at her breast. “Philip likes that idea, doesn’t he? Diane will be the mommy and Philip will be her baby boy. Mommy will take good care of her baby; she’ll wash him, and dress him, and feed him, and keep him in clean diapers. Philip will never have to worry about anything again, mommy will tend to him and watch over him.”
She smiled down at him indulgently as he put his thumb in his mouth and resumed sucking. He had forgotten everything except his attachment to her. He was content to lie cradled securely in her arms and bask in her embrace. She grieved the loss of her husband, but at least she had part of him with her. “If I can only have one part of him with me, I’m glad it’s the part that’s happy and loves me.”, she thought.
He looked down, beholding his hands in wonder as if for the first time. A small runnel of drool coursed down his chin unheeded and dripped onto his chest. He stretched his hands out and played with his fingers, fascinated by their appearance and motion, grasping each of them in turn in his tiny fist. Diane was charmed by his toothless grin and infantile explorations. She chuckled in amusement as he held his foot and tried to suck his big toe. Diane tickled him under his chin and said, “You’re the most adorable baby I’ve ever seen. Aren’t you, honey? You’re sooooo sweet, mommy could just eat you up! Mmmmm!”
She nuzzled his chest as if she was going to eat him and he cackled in delight. Diane decided she would turn his den adjoining the master bedroom into a nursery. He wouldn’t need a den or his alchemy books now. She’d sell his books and get baby books she could read to him; something like Dr. Seuss and Winne the Poo. A rocking chair would be nice too, she could cuddle him and read to him at night before she gave him his bottle. “He’s such a sweet baby, he deserves to be pampered.”, she thought, caressing him fondly.