The Return to Innocence Scene 20

Within 30 seconds there was an attendant standing behind him ready to comfort the little baby. Instead of picking him up and holding him as expected she put one hand on his shoulder while the other grabbed the back of his pants and diaper, pulling them away and looking inside. “Oh! Poor dear what is the problem? You haven’t made a stinky in your dydee?” She then turned Rob around and stuck two fingers down the front of his diaper. “Uhhh, Gross!” she said, as she reached for some paper towel and wiped her hands.

Rob wasn’t sure why she had reacted that way, then a few seconds later he realized he was peeing in his diaper. Piecing together the events, he concluded she must have immersed her fingers into a pool of fresh pee that hadn’t been absorbed by the gel yet. Rob stuck a finger in his mouth and giggled at her. After the assistant cleaned her hands, she stopped for a second, looked down at Rob and smiled at the infantile behaviour. “How can I get mad a little cutie like you.” She picked him up and carried the child over to the nearest changing station where he was quickly changed and placed back on the floor and allowed to return to the toys.

By the time the diaper change was completed he had completely forgotten about why he had been crying in the first place. The fact that Benny was allowed to play with the bigger kids was completely forgotten as if it had never happened in the first place. With his freshly diapered butt sticking up high in the air, Rob crawled over to the toys scattered in a corner of the room. He found an interesting plastic car with large green wheels that he pushed back and forth. He pretended that it was his work vehicle and he was driving home from work stopping at the grocery store before making his way to the daycare to pick up Benny.

Rob was thoroughly into his game when he stopped. He looked up towards the ceiling, then stuck a thumb in his mouth and took a short break like a man stepping outside for a quick cigarette. He slowly pulled the thumb in and out massaging his cheeks. The rhythmic motion relaxed the child as he meditated barely conscious of what was going on around him. Suddenly and baby stumbled past him, stopped and looked down at Rob. Without removing his thumb he looked up at the larger boy dressed in a yellow t-shirt and nothing below the waist except for his white disposable diaper. The child spied the toy car then reached down grabbed it and toddled away.

Rob was stunned. He sat there thumb still in his mouth as he watched his pride and joy walking away. Rob wasn’t sure what to do but he wanted it back. It was his, no one else can hold it. No one else but him was allowed to have it and it made him furious someone took it away from him. Rob was going to go after the toy when his emotions got the best of him. He started to cry as a baby could only do. His wails got louder as he became more irate. He couldn’t help himself, he’d lost all self-control.

An attendant came rushing over to check up on Rob, she made sure he wasn’t hurt and deduced that he was upset about something of little consequence. She picked Rob up and bounced in her arms as he slowly calmed down. Rob was still frustrated but soon he had forgotten why which allowed him to calm down faster. “There there little Robbie, everything is going to be alright. You just calm down and stop crying and act like a biiiig boy. There there, everything is going to be allll right. Oh, you poor thing it must be almost time for a nap, you look tired.” The attendant coddle Rob as he slowly calmed down. He was happy to be bounced in her arms as she rubbed his back. It was wonderful and secure even if it wasn’t his mother’s musings. It was almost meditative as he burrowed his head into the attendant’s chest. It was calming and his mind drifted into thoughtlessness where he focused on the rubbing and patting of his back.

Suddenly he realised the attendant was putting him down on the floor. He was a little annoyed not to have her complete and undivided attention, he wanted to be held in her warm and comforting embrace and he was becoming frustrated by her lack of attention to him. Without thinking he began to fuss and cry wanting to be picked up. He wanted to be in her arms and didn’t see why he shouldn’t be there. Over the past week his world had spiraled inwards to the point that he only saw the world from his perspective, he only saw his place in the world and had no interest that some other baby needed her help. His fussing quickly became a cry for help as he wanted her to pick him up now and cuddle him.