Shirley paused and then held up three fingers for Julia to see.
“Now, I know you don’t remember when you were potty trained, but I do. And there are three big steps. 1 = no more poopy diapers. 2 = No more wet diapers during the day. And 3 = no more wetting the bed. Honey, I hate to say it, but looking at you, and what I am seeing…. Well, it’s strike 1, 2, 3. Which means, well, you’re out.”
Julia listened to her mom and tried to accept what she was saying. It was hard. She finally managed to say, “Gosh mom, I just never really thought about it. I mean it’s hard for me to believe that I am really not patty trained anymore.”
Shirley looked down at her and pulled out one of her favorite sayings. “You know the old saying, actions speak louder than words? Well, right now all your actions are telling me that you not wearing a diaper would be a bad idea.”
There was another pause as Shirley looked at Julia and waited for her to respond. Julia didn’t really know what to say. Everything her mom said was true. But Julia was still having a hard time wrapping her head around the idea of needing to wear diapers. It wasn’t that it was a scary thought or anything like that. It was just hard to believe. Could you really go from potty trained to not potty trained in just a few weeks?
“Honey, talk to me here. Am I totally off base on this?” Shirley asked. “I mean, I really thought you already knew this. What did you think I was talking about yesterday in the grocery store? Or when you asked to go to lunch with the diaper club people?”
Julia tried to remember what her mom had said. She remembered her mom saying something yesterday about ‘having a kid in diapers again’, but it hadn’t ever occurred to her that she had been talking about this.
“I don’t know mom. I mean, honestly I never ever thought about it and it’s kind of hard for me to believe it. I mean, do you really think I’m like un-potty trained or whatever?”
“Well, if you have never thought about it, I could understand you confusion. But tell me, is what I said wrong? I mean, you just told me you have no idea when you wet your diaper.”
“I know. And it’s true, I really don’t remember at all when it happened. And you are also right about wetting the bed and stuff. It’s just I kind of thought I had just forgotten about it or something. I mean most of the time, I don’t really think much about using my diapers. But it never ever occurred to me that I might actually need to wear diapers or something. I mean, if I think about it I can hold it.” Right after she finished speaking a thought entered her head. ‘Well, I can hold it for a little while at least.’
“Well honey, as somebody who has potty trained you before let me tell you something. Being potty trained is not just about being physically able to control yourself. Obviously being able to hold it is a big part of it, I mean that is step 1 in potty training, but there is a lot more to it. When you were still in diapers as a toddler I knew you were capable of controlling yourself. But you would still have accidents all the time. And the accidents were not from you not being able to hold it, it was from forgetting to hold it.”
“Really?” Julia asked.
“Absolutely. You use to forget all the time and have accidents. Potty training you was actually a long and difficult process.”
“I don’t remember any of it at all.”
“Well, that’s hardly surprising considering how young you were. But yes, you had a very hard time remembering to hold it. Whenever you remembered you were fine. It had nothing to do with you being able to hold it. So I’m sure that like you said, ‘when you think about it’ you can hold it. But as far as I am concerned that doesn’t mean your potty trained. Not by a long shot. I’m not so much worried about you being able to hold it, I’m worried about you remembering to. ”