In my case I’m into the BDSM scene so I went to a couple of events femme first. I have some good friends in the scene who I knew wouldn’t judge me and I could trust them for honest feedback on what they thought when they first saw me. The feedback was really good […]

Reply Confusion about gender identity is quite common with people. If the closet is feeling more like a prison now then you need to break out of it for sure. Been there, done that, wished I’d done it years before. I was 49 when I first started going out in public regularly. I’ve felt I […]

Reply Thank you all for your advice, I have had these thoughts, feeling for many years and I do feel very confused these days. I have just started counseling in the hope I can understand all these things. Without boring people, I am struggling with my gender identity I find it hard to put a […]

Reply So you need to work out what you hope to achieve and what your worries/fears are. You may well find that dressing as a real girl (in jeans/trainers and a baggy top) but with padding/lingerie underneath enables you to feel real, and is probably most likely to result in “passing”. The other advice given […]

Reply Start by going out in the the world. You could go to support groups or trans events, have a makeover to get you off the ground. I’d build your confidence in yourself and establish where you want to go with this. Maybe leave the androgynous well alone unless that is you. Do the coming […]

  It certainly wasn’t for me but you do need to be sure and be ready for come what may. Know what you want to come out as. I’m in my 50’s but feel I would have come out a lot younger if there were the vocabulary and understanding of spectrums of gender and sexuality […]

I felt it at the end of last year and came out to family and friends the first half of this year. It is a great relief to feel you no longer have to hide who you are and I’ve been very lucky to only have positive experiences so far. That isn’t everyone’s story though […]

Crossdresser, transvestite, or a host of other labels might better describe how you feel. On a daily basis just dress how you want to dress and if that is more feminine today and more masculine tomorrow that is OK. Who you feel you are on the inside is always valid no matter how you present […]

Reply There are no rules. Certainly, no rule that says if you come out you have to start presenting in a certain way. What do you want to come out to people as? Labels are good for other people to help them understand the new you but can be difficult to pick between. You can […]

Question I have been in the closet for many years, now in my 50’s and I dress occasionally I really want to come out of the closet. I am wondering how to express myself on a daily basis, do I dress androgynous or female? Never dressed fully and always in secret If you have any […]