Reply Reading your post, we’re pretty much in the same position. The only differences (i believe, but you can tell me otherwise) that may be a factor are:- 1/ My wife knows but is unsupportive 2/ I used to travel a lot with work. So I am used to going out and about solo and […]

Reply Unwinding the gender puzzle is full of red herrings, self-doubt. It can take years to establish where you fit which involves trial and error. You may have to start again doing the easy things like “late night dog walk” to boost your confidence. Maybe with out your wife as it just adds pressure.

But that’s difficult when I really want to reach the endpoint as I am sure I will be much happier (something I have wanted my whole life and just when I thought I was getting somewhere after all those years in the closet denying, I am now scared of losing it all). Being able to […]

I think I have been loosely promising myself to look into the possibility of trying out full-time in about 12 months when I have settled into a new job by then. But there’s no way that’s going to happen at this rate. It was likely a rush before to achieve in this time frame, but […]

Reply I don’t have a problem going out as a male. And want and need to go out. I just have last-minute nerves and then get changed back and then end up going out as male. This starts to get the wife frustrated waiting for me. Several months ago it was much better and much […]

Reply I think you need to build a social life like Carol. It gives going out a purpose, something to be enjoyed, something to look forward to. Fate has chosen the worst time ever, to come out and find your feet. The last year and a half have been extremely difficult so don’t be too […]

Reply It takes a huge amount of courage to step out the front door for the first time. As one does it more and more, the amount of courage required diminishes, to the point that it becomes ‘almost’ negligible…. but maybe it becomes subconscious. I’d guess that there’s still a lot of subconscious stress involved […]

Reply Yes, I experience this sometimes also and found a psychological trick that helps me across the door threshold, I pop a mint in my mouth as I’m getting ready to go out. (about 10 or 20 minutes before exiting). I’ve managed to ritualize it and make it the threshold instead of the door in […]

Reply Not wanting to go out, has nothing to do with going back in the closet. Unless you are starting to feel that way? You also haven’t said that you want to go out, but can’t, and is there a problem with not wanting to go out? I am sure many people don’t go out […]

I think being Carol all week gave me a lot of confidence to do the same at the weekend as well as felt more normal and used to it. Even more strangely I find myself choosing to go to work rather than stay at home and deny myself more femme time, even though I am […]