I was wondering what’s people experiences with crossdressing in public in the daytime and in the night at STRAIGHT pubs and clubs.
As I been recently out to my family (most of them at least, just not dad…) I been crossdressing at night to gay clubs/pubs really as it’s an accepting place.
I have had an experience of light mocking on me as a crossdresser in a busy place in Bristol and while I did not like it, it was manageable. But I don’t know if I’m being silly with that.
I would like to know people experiences with cross dressing in town for instance day time and night time. I understand that going to quiet places at night or places ridden with crime isn’t necessarily safe at all for anyone, just more so for cross dressers and women.
Please share anything I would love to read it hehe~
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For me, not a problem these days.
I think it is confidence – if you walk around looking all scared then some will pick up on that, if you walk around like you are the woman you are inside then you get treated as such even if others know/suspect that you aren’t the real deal.
It obviously helps if you are convincing. Even if not absolutely, I think if people can see you are the real deal and have put a lot of effort in then they will respect that. Just putting on an inappropriate dress and a cheap wig doesn’t cut it and the public will treat those who do that differently.
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For me It has been a confidence boost going out with my daughter, durning to day, I’m not into gay bars and clubs, so I’ve not any interest in going those places and yes they are a save haven for us girls. I have been to the theatre with my wife. which was really enjoyable being two women out together, Although I was as nervous as hell all night. As yet due to the lock down I’ve not been out drinking in regular pub/bars but I will when we are allowed to go back out.
I feel am not totally convincing as a woman and my voice is a total giveaway. but people that I have met say I do pass in public ( just don’t speak ) 🙂
So its down to your self and how you feel about being out. don’t wear cheap wigs and dress as the time of day your out, and the places you are going, you can’t go wrong with some skinny jeans, trainers and top for a day shopping. casual.
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If you’re dressed to blend in and presenting femme you can go wherever you want. As long as you’re dressed to blend and not wearing a pink sissy maids outfit round the supermarket or anything like that then people probably wouldn’t even notice you anyway.
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I agree with Chastity & Ann, dress to blend in and you will. People are so wrapped up doing their own thing you are hardly noticed. Over lock down, I started to do the grocery shopped en femme. absolutely no issues.
The only thing I tend to avoid is women’s loo’s unless there are no other options. Just in case someone turns a bit funny. I tend to use same sex loo’s like in coffee shops, and smaller stores. then there’s only you in there.
At night it’s easier being dark, and I would normally be heading to a club so point to point travel. I do avoid groups of teenagers if on my own especially if they have been drinking.
for me it has been a positive experience and a big confidence boost.
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All the advice above is tremendous. People really aren’t looking at you, you just think they are. And these days, the desire to stare at crossdressers is even lower, it just isn’t that interesting anymore.
WITH THAT ALL SAID…
It can feel daunting, that is normal. I went out at night, or at CD events for years before I ever had cause to walk around in public during the day. I dealt with it by doing it with a man. He and I walked around boyfriend/girlfriend style and it gave me a lot of confidence. After a few times I was fine walking around on my own. Good luck, you are in the early stages of a really awesome journey. Trust me.
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I’ve also always found that (oddly), if you’re in a large crowded place, you’re far less likely to be noticed (or, more precisely, you’re less likely to notice being noticed!) People don’t care who’s around them, as long as you dress appropriately.
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I would just add that whilst it has never been a problem, I am slightly wary of taking selfies in busy places.
It rather attracts attention, although sometimes nice people offer to take the pic for me, and again, I suspect that they’ve never ” noticed” . It can lead to friendly chatting and banter, but caution is worth bearing in mind.
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ReplyGoing out in public is a learnt behaviour. The more you
do it the better you get. Making those mannerisms,
body language and clothing choice adjustments helps
you blend into the woman’s world. Laser, hair choice brow
shaping also helps. It all equals confidence.
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Dress appropriate and blend in. I’ve never had any problems with anyone or maybe I’ve been lucky.
Only time I ever felt uncomfortable was a bar in Birmingham and I was clocked by two guys at the bar. I dont stereotype but shaved heads tattoos football shirts. Sitting down on my own when one approached and I prepared for it. Sitting down he said mate you’ve got balls doing what you do (well he wasnt wrong was he!), you are being who you want to be. Actually had a good chat he even bought me a drink. When I left he said I was always welcome in there and I’d never have any trouble and if I did just to say that I knew him. Just goes to show you can never judge anyone by appearance.
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Pretty much agree with everything that is being said here.
The only thing I’ll add is in regards to blending in, and that is it varies from town to town as to what works. In that respect do some homework and go out at a similar time to take a mental note of what the local women are wearing, e.g. smart casual skirts etc, or trackie bottoms and baggy t-shirts or business attire i.e. smart skirt suits etc. Then you’ll know what to choose from. In other words lunchtime in the City of London is totally different to lunchtime in Corby and the locals will be dressed differently.
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I think it depends
1) on how you are dressed. If you dress to blend in then there will be less of a reaction. Most people can be oblivious to their surroundings and so may not even see you
2) if it’s a drinking place or a non drinking place. Alcohol can turn a small minority of people into arseholes
Personally I have shopped in various towns and cities as Katie and not had an issue. Most people ignore you and those that don’t tend to be really nice. Shopping is too much fun to not do it !!
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I was thinking about going with a biker goth chick look, but that would look stand out ish, but so what. I can get over it hehe~
I think another point to bring out because of that is, if you walk with confidence and in somewhat suitable clothing I.E not a pink sissy outfit then it’s okay. Someone said in this forum post.
Something I would like to try more of is going clubbing in straight clubs and pubs. I tried the gay clubs and pubs, only two in this city really. And while I love going to them, it’s like I know the same crowd. I really wanna try the popular straight clubs but get worried about people bullying me possibly.
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Generally there are plenty of LGTBQ folks in straight clubs, so you are never truly alone.
With that said, my earlier advice of bringing a date to be your +1 is how I first started going to straight venues of various ilks. You are, like I was at your age, plenty passable. 99.9% of people won’t look twice at you. You only have the date with you because it becomes easier to pass with someone treating you like his date, and if someone gets a little too beer-strong, they usually will not look to do anything with a couple. Your ability to read a room when dressed will increase exponentially as you do it. Trust me.
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Please forgive me as I am just going to copy/paste something I wrote when this question came up previously.
As always I can only talk about my experience and thoughts.
Personally although I am lucky to be very ‘feminine’ I have never tried to hide the fact I am a guy.
I just burst into any shop/restaurant exuding confidence and radiating smiles and an air of ‘don’t give a shitness’ LOL. Surprisingly (not really a surprise tbh) I have found that most people don’t really care and the reactions I do get have all been overwhelmingly positive. I realise I am extremely lucky in this and others do have a tough time when out and about.
One of the girls in Boots with whom I have made good friends said its because you always have a smile for people and have embraced who you are. I also make a point of being approachable and happy to engage with people and answer any questions they may have.
I still have days when I don’t feel that confident but those are fewer than they were and on those days I just fake it.
On the voice issue I don’t have a particularly deep voice but its recognisably male. I don’t try to disguise it in any way as sometimes I think this can just draw more attention to you.
I have found that most shop girls love fussing over me as it breaks up there day and
I have been told that Transwomen are so friendly and a delight to engage. (its true we are fabulous in every way LOL).
So what am I trying to say in all this rambling? I guess it boils down to try not to get yourself worked up over how you may be perceived, smile, hold your head high and embrace who you are. You may find it opens more doors than it closes and your circle of friends expands amongst the lovelies at the makeup/perfume counter.
I wish you all the best and hope my thoughts help in some way.
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Daniella, I have also done a copy and paste job – from my profile. There are four things I try to get right:
(1) Wear the correct sort of clothes for the occasion and make sure they fit me. That often means wearing trousers and flat shoes. In fact, during the day it may mean flat shoes all the time.
(2) Get my hair looking passable – this might take longer than I think.
(3) Get my make-up right, although this might involve eye make-up and lipstick slightly over the top
(4) Get the mannerisms right, from being able to carry or delve into a handbag as if it has been a daily occurence for decades, to getting into a car gracefully, to knowing what to do with my hands in everyday situations.
As others have said, a lot of it is confidence. Women of my height (6’1″) are still comparatively rare and that used to make me very self-conscious. Although I go out on my own regularly, I am very fortunate to have a man in my life and – I don’t know whether this is psychological or not – it seems to be far less nerve-wracking if we are out as a couple.
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I find if I go out dressed like the girl next door I never have any problems, as soon as I put heels on & glam up I attract a lot more attention, its also very difficult not to get noticed in heels, men look at you & women inspect you up & down, especially if their partner is looking at you!! Whether they realise that your a tranny is anyones guess.
I gained a lot of confidence when I dated a guy for 9 months, he taught me to be confident & not give a damn….
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I went out en femme for the first time today since the lockdown began over here. I went to Tesco for my weekly shop and no one batted an eyelid that I noticed but I was fretting though especially as it was in the afternoon. I have often went before but either in the mornings or evenings. To make matters more nerve racking today there was a queue to go in.
I wore a light summer dress ( it’s roasting here) sandals and just mascara/lippy for makeup.
I’m so happy I did it but at the same time I’m disappointed because I had a lot of plans for this year to meet accepting friends and travel around a lot.
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It’s fair to say that most has been said around this topic and as you can see Daniella, the responses you got are pretty much all aligned 
Blending in, mannerism and being as natural as possible are the key factors in my view too. Paying attention to details is also important, e.g. I have to wear glasses so both my normal and sun glasses are proper female glasses, not my male ones. A small detail but with a big impact.
I’ve been out in London during day times, taken packed tubes, went shopping to Covent Garden and Oxford St, gone to coffee shops and so on. Never had an issue and quite honestly, the only ones that may ‘spot’ you were the tourists! And most of them smiled… And everyone else doesn’t even bat an eyelid 😉
But still, choose your moves carefully! While I am happy to use tube/public transport during the day, I use black cabs (or Addison Lee) in the evening or late night. I don’t go to loud pubs, but a nice wine bar instead or yes, your TG friendly bars. As for toilets, I will always go for the same sex one… It just takes one woman to kick up a fuss and it’s an escalation that I personally can do without.
I also always have a small power bank with me, just in case my phone starts to run low on battery. I just simply don’t want to end up somehow stranded and therefore too exposed late at night.
And as everyone said, the more often you do it, the more used you will get and the more comfortable you will feel.
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Hi Daniella
I’m out and about in Bristol regularly.
Or at least I was.
Bristol taught me there is no such thing as a “straight bar”.
Gay, straight, bi, trans . . . It flows through everywhere.
My fave bar for years was the Long Bar in old market.
A proper cider house.
Latterly it was George & Dragon in St George and Whitehall Tavern.
All proper boozers, all proper friendly.
It all depends on the attitude you go in with.
Sure, you need a thick skin at times.
But if you go in thinking you are a Prima Donna who deserves to be treated as someone you are not, you’ll get cut to pieces every time.
If you do what everyone else does – go out for a drink, a good time and a laugh – you’ll get the same in return.
Hope this helps.
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Those who have transitioned (socially, to live full time) do this kind of thing all the time. We don’t necessarily have passing privilege, but we go to regular pubs, shopping, tourist attractions, the usual. Crossdresser or trans woman? Statistically, one’s more likely to be doing full Rocky Horror and the other’s more likely to be wearing a cardigan. People are quite good at reading these cues, so dress fairly conservatively if you want people to treat you as the latter.
Two types to generally watch out for: teenagers and pissed/stoned adult males. In both cases, almost invariably with either mates or a girlfriend in tow to show off and affirm their masculine heterosexuality to. You may get verbally abused by these people, but I’ve never had an incident with them that made me feel unsafe. They’re also not as common as you’d think when you’re out and about. Sober British adults and even British kids generally either try to be friendly and supportive, or they mind their own business.
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I have only really been going out in full battledress for about 4 years now and yep, the first time (in Blackpool, staying at the old Scarlets) it was a combination of both bricking it and hyper at the same time, needn’t have worried btw as I had zero problems that whole weekend.
One thing us t-girls can be assured of is that you very rarely get a dull night out. I have had loads of real women asking how I manage all night in 5/6 inch heels and when I explain the trick – wear the goddam things in the house first a few times doing chores, etc they look at me as if I’m Stephanie Hawking 
and then ask to try mine on.
I had one guy who was pissed and had been annoying real girls and t-girls all night sidle up to me at the bar and, expecting me to bottle it said “you’ve got a manly chin love” when I shot straight back in my deepest possible voice that’s because I am a man he didn’t know what to say or where to look, he skulked off and was later ejected by the security and told never to return.
The funniest night was in Glasgow, outside Delmonicas having a smoke. I was chatting to the bouncer when a young guy, looked Eastern European came over and asked if I had any spare change. When I replied that I had left my bag indoors he noticed the non-femme voice, looked me up and down (6in peeptoes, black top, cropped leggings and shoulder-length barnet) he stepped back, looked at the bouncer, then me and then proceeded to literally rub his eyes, he continued to look back as he walked on. The bouncer said I doubt he’s met a bird like you before then, we were pissing ourselves laughing the rest of the night – priceless!
Being out dressed is basically all about attitude, if you can handle the rare and really they are rare clown having a dig you should have no problems. If you dress not to stand out too much you are normally OK, I’m lucky in that I’m short, slim and have small feet for a guy and at the end of the day I AM a guy and handy with a warped sense of humor so can normally diffuse any potential crap.
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For me at this point in time it has gone full circle, when I’m out and about as a guy I now feel uncomfortable and have slight paranoia about being wrong.
Some situations that spring to mind;
In a straight bar in Glasgow, a city with a former reputation as ‘No mean city’, and is actually the opposite these days. So I’m dressed in a Santa outfit, aka Christmas Carol, 6” heels, white stockings, and white fur trimmed red velvet mini mini dress. Ok, bit extreme, but … comments from everyone esp females, was omg love the outfit! , gosh! Wow! You look amazing, and bloody hell…. envious! Yes this takes bottle, and is extreme, but not one person was in any doubt I was a tv dressed, ( I was 6’7” tall!) but the people I was with can confirm, everyone smiled, pointed, and looked happy at the sight before them. The people I was with, were surprised that I attracted a totally positive reaction rather than the trouble they thought. Tone this back, and it reflects a general rule of thumb when out and about dressed.
Shopping, Boots makeup dept. Kinda posted this before, to me, this is the lions den! The girls there have in some cases OTT makeup, but they are there to show off the products they sell. If you make a reasonable job of putting it on, there curious to see what you’ve done, and approval is easily seen by a big smile! Not one of pity. As stated before, we’re always happy, we always smile and engage well, it’s because we are truly happy inside, and it shows to those around.
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Just dress appropriately for the surroundings you are visitings whether it is daytime shopping, coffee meet, places of interest or evening when dress up a little more. I call it blending in!
All you need to do when you are out and about, just look around and see what other ladies (similar age) are wearing. Another thing too, for daylight outings, your make up needs to be lightly applied (less is more) along with pastal colour lipstick rather the standout red you may go for!
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Only been to a pub once dressed. And i was dressed down, nothing extravagant.
Got my drink, went outside to beer garden so I could have a cigarette and was followed out by a couple who started chatting to me – friendly at first. It didnt take long for the comments from her to become acidic, including remarks about all men who crossdress are perverts. I walked away and sat at another table and they went back inside. 5 mins later he’s back with 3 other so-called men and I end up in hospital with 4 broken ribs, eyesocket and nose having been kicked in tge face a few times. Cctv had bn purposely turned off. That was a bad experience but it hasnt stopped me going out. If anything it made me more detetmined. Weekly shopping trip is now done fully enfemme
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M&S would be good and no, you most definitely wouldn’t look like a weird bloke in the ladies section 
Shopping malls are always good to be honest as there’s plenty of choice and people are generally busy doing their own thing that you can get lost in a crowd.
By the way I’ve found M&S to be trans friendly, especially after I saw them have a stall at Sparkle a few years ago which impressed me. I went for a bra fitting there because of that and they were very helpful, although I’d suggest leaving that one until Covid is no longer a big risk.
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Third time out … OMG 🤩🥰🤩
I’ve had the best day, dressed and out at Westfield for most of the day !
M&S open, so I spent at least 25 mins not being the weirdo in the lingerie dept, shame most of the sale stock is for teeny tiny girls… I couldn’t find anything that took my fancy.
I did however call into Boots for some foundation advice, lovely girl helped me although not a proper skin tone match as that was not allowed.
Got my coffee ! And spent my first visit to the “Ladies” had it all to myself, loads of selfies in the massive mirrors.🥰
My feet hurt, but it has been the best day out and dressed !
When lockdown gets lifted I’m so looking forward to meeting up with some of you lovely girls, so much support and advice from everyone, Thank you all 💋💋💋
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Inspired by the actions of some of you in this thread, I contacted the lovely Ashleigh, see her exploits above…and arranged to meet.
we spent the best part of a couple of hours wandering around an admittedly covid restricted town, but there were people …we went in a couple of shops, got coffee, sat and chatted.
after getting over my paranoid thoughts that everyone was looking at me, they weren’t..it was a fantastic experience.
I can only repeat what others have said…the rest of the world is too busy doing its own thing to be overly concerned with you.
I just needed to experience that for myself to realise it.
I hope it was the first of many trips out, and while I am not so naive as to think that I will never encounter any issues, it was very good start.
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It is my understanding that M&S staff have specific training on how to deal with transgendered customers and will always address and treat them as the gender they portray.
As for handbags, I wouldn’t feel properly dressed if I didn’t have a handbag with me.
I have been out and about in the public domain for many years, eaten at some of the best restaurants in town and always used the ladies toilets. I can honestly put my hand on my heart and says that I have never had a moments problem , I have even had a rather harassed young mum ask me to mind her baby for a couple of minutes while she sorted out her very complaining toddler.
If you dress to blend and not draw attention to yourself, act discreetly and perfectly naturally and try not to be obsessed with taking photos every moment you are out then you won’t have an issue.
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met up with the lovely Ashleigh again and went out in town. Much busier and a smaller town.
once again my fears were unjustified, people didn’t seem to notice…actually, I am thinking there were admiring glances rather than incredulous stares.! (that may be wishful thinking on my part!)
In an independent department store, the staff were friendly, amenable and helpful…perhaps they have had the M&S training too??!!
hope this helps to those that are asking…
what I wore (minus jacket) to go shopping.
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The first time I went out dressed in female attire,
we attended a restaurant,which was fully seated.
I was sweating bullets,and when you dress a bit flamboyant like I do,
attention is sure to be had.
Next to us was a family with two boys,maybe they were 8 and 10 years old.
They forgot about their meals,to say the least,
and I noticed their dad giving them a look that said “don`t you dare say anything!”.
Actually no one said anything,and the waiter acted like he had done nothing than serve “t-girls” all his life.
Like the good posts earlier in this thread emphasizes,
most people are busy with their own schedule.
Kids will stare,but they are mostly curious.
It is a refreshing experience,but only you can decide if you are ready.
Best of luck in your endeavours 
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Blending in is probably the most important advice here, especially for daytime outings. I have been out a few times during the day and today was my first full day out dressed. Each time I have dressed to blend in dressing like women of my age.
No one bats an eyelid. Today I was on busy trains, in busy train stations, shopping and eating outside a pub. No one batted an eyelid once. I don’t attempt to disguise my voice and just use my normal voice – in my experience this seems to help. It seems to stop shop assistants (for example) trying to work out you are trans or not. Once they have no doubt they go back to treating you like anyone else. I think that seed of doubt in their head seems to cause brain freeze in some people.
My only other advice is not to over plan things. When we are nervous, we try to plan things to the finest detail and it becomes like a military plan. On my first night out I was staying in the Ibis in Leeds, and I planned my exit from the hotel in great detail. I would go down the fire escape and leg it across the foyer. It was going great until I got to the bottom of the stairs. Ibis had the decorators in and they had set up base in the area at the bottom of the stairs. So I had to pick my way through them and their equipment.
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| As Georgie says above, blending in is the right idea. think on what a normal female would wear and wear some thing similar. Don’t wear winter wear in summer and vice versa. Try to wear flat heels for comfort and scrimp on the jewelry.
I have found the only enjoyment of this lock-down has been the ability to go out dressed as a woman, wearing a mask and just “going about my business” as a woman. I now do most of my grocery shopping in girl mode. Taking a bus trip in girl mode is quite exciting too. (Never thought I would ever say that!) The New World Order is coming on full tilt, so the next lock-down is not far away, so mask wearing is here for a long time yet to come. |
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My happy world is where you don’t feel the need to look like a woman to wear the clothes that you feel comfortable in.
My most recent experience was walking to my car in a denim longish skirt and converse. Normal clothes on top and my usual beard. I got a few looks but I just smiled back.
When I got to my girlfriend’s house, she didn’t bat an eyelid and just greeted me normally. I later explained to her that it was a big thing for me to feel comfortable to do that. She got it when I explained 🙂
She’s of the opinion if she can wear what she wants, why can’t I 🙂 she’s a good one.
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went to a spa complex with 1 other t girl n 15 real women got in sauna n pool with them one of them helped do my make up , we all had a meal in the complex and six of us end up going into Bristol to a night club we had breakfast in the morning there too , while having meal the previous evening I had to use the ladies room other diners n ladies in the ladies room didn’t bat a eye lid thy saw a lovely girl enjoying her self was a great night we hope to repeat it again some when
Rosie xx
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Had a lovely experience yesterday. I went into my local charity shop, that I had previously bought a couple of dresses from. I picked out a lovely dress (on the hunt for a summer dress right now). I asked about the return policy as the size was not clear. She said, I could try it on in the changing room as they only do credit notes for returns.
So the good bit, I got my first experience of trying on a dress in a changing room and the lady in the shop was super helpful.
The bad bit, the dress did not fit, I was gutted and even though I had my mask on I think she could tell. I am still in mourning 🙂
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There’s ways and means. Go somewhere like Manchester village and you won’t look out of place as there are tgirls there most weekends. Trans support groups like Trans Matters in Wolverhampton can be useful too.
Also as your profile says you’re into BDSM, the BDSM scene is very trans friendly. Have a look on Fetlife to see of there are any events in your area. There are lots in the Birmingham area (or at least there were before Covid) and you can dress however you want and nobody would give a shit. Look out for munches as well, which are social meetings in pubs. There’s even one in your home town which I used to run before I moved North. If you don’t normally go to a pub dressed then go drab and you can meet a range of different people with different kinks. Some even like wearing women’s clothes
Don’t get me wrong, it can be scary going out if you’ve never done it before. It was for me at first but I don’t think anything of it now.
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A while back i ventured out whilst dressed for the first, so nervous but so thrilling and exciting at the same time.
Visited B & Q for some paint for my wife and also went to M & S and had a leisurely browse around the lingerie section.
Definitely helped my nerves as face mask was still mandatory.
Was wearing a white blouse, didn’t realise how far unbuttoned it was 
shortish skirt, stockings, heels.
So want to do more maybe with a someone from here
Sue x
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I’m no expert and still struggle with confidence whilst out and about and love to read and hear about everyone’s experience.
A lot say blend in and think about what woman wear.
Believe me I work in a supermarket in 1 of my jobs so always on the look out. Believe me there is no set “dress code”
We are all individual anyway
Dressing gown s, to full on dressed up. It all goes.
I’ve noticed gurls too I guess it takes in to see one as no one else battered an eyelid.
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Hey lovely ladies,
Just reading this thread and I felt compelled to contribute. It might be a bit old now but others might find it useful. It a bit of a ramble but maybe others will identify.
This first time I did was absolutely terrifying but incredible all at the same time. This was 15 years ago when the UK wasn’t so liberal and accepting as it is maybe today.
It was in a remote countryside lane, I’d driven there, parked in a side lay-by and got changed in the car. It was a struggle and I looked like a clown with silly, candid, bold makeup, unbrushed wig, short skirt, silly high heels. Absolutely not my style and pretty much no clue what I was doing. I finally stepped out of the car onto the road with the car door open (just in case) It was the first time standing in heels outside my home, I was finally out of the closet! It was an incredible feeling!! I just stood, holding the car door open, it literally was in the middle of nowhere and there was no chance of ever being spotted…..and then a cyclist rode by…out of no where. I scrammed back into the seat of my car and locked the doors….and then sat and cried from humiliation. I looked like a mad clown from the tears. The cyclist didn’t say anything as he rode by of course and he was well past me anyway before anything could happen. I didn’t dress for another 6 months.
My next attempt was not until 12 months later and totally different, despite not fully dressing since the cyclist. I continued to read quite a bit of advice on line and found a variety of resource. After some more makeup practice at home, I took a lot more time over what I looked like (and had amassed an appropriate outfit and a much better quality wig on line (amazing difference to cheap ones) I actually felt really nice when I got changed and I could see the effort paying off. I got into my car, which was an absolute thrill to drive en femme. I went to a quiet coastal town to park up in a residential side street near to the main town centre. It wasn’t busy really, a few people doing mid week shopping and some cars about but I knew I looked quite nice and was quite proud of the effort I had made. My outfit was practical and right for the time of day and year. That gave me confidence. I sat for an hour watching people go by my parked car, non of whom, despite looking at me, batted an eyelid. I got my phone and keys, put them in my handbag and got out of the car. I walked to the end of the street trying to remember a bit of my deportment practice. It was quiet….so I just carried on walking. I literally found couldn’t stop, but it was all ok and it was a huge revelation. It was a blur, I remember I stopped a few times to look in some shop windows and I was passing other people in the street. I finally got back to my car after an hour of being out. It was then I know I immediately wanted to do it all again and proceeded to do so the following weekend. My really confidence grew quite quickly and I got the hang of it too. Practice really does pay off.
There’s some wonderful advice on this thread that Ive read through and anyone wanting to try to go out…I understand the fear of the unknown and what might happen. If my experience is anything to go by, a bit of practice at home, thinking about where you want to go is critical. I’ve ventured out a lot more into places that I only feel safe in and that I feel like I can keep control. That means travelling by car so I have access to a lockable safe place if needs be. That for me is vitally important and I wouldn’t travel by public transport. But that’s just me.
What you wear is vitally important too and there’s already lots of very good advice here to take note of. Going to the shops or walkabouts is absolutely not the same as going to a nightclub and you’ll also quickly find out why most females don’t wear high heels all the time.
All I can say is that venturing out as your femme self is such a wonderful experience, you will see life from a totally different perspective. Just be safe and go for it
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