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I can understand the predicament, Kay.
My wife thought I was gay too, but she now understands.
She does not know about my desire to meet other like-minded people, and I know she would be distraught if she found out, but she is aware of my wanting to dress outdoors.
However, to date, she has kept it totally indoors.
I do feel sorry for you and hope that in time you can come out again with her blessing.
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