Question
As long as I can remember I love dressing up all feminine but after many regretted purges I find the urge to dress returns. I have now resorted to purging my girlie things to the attic so I avoid the increasing expense of rebuilding my wardrobe. What I’m struggling with is the strength of the urge that comes back. Each time it is stronger. My previous return to i dressing was very intense and I found my self telling me to get dressed fully fem and go out. I set myself tasks like posting mail or go to a cash point. The girl inside wanted more so I went out in broad daylight for everyone to see me. Shortly after I lost the desire to be girlie me. 8 months on and the urge has returned even stronger. Do others get this series of urges and how do you manage it?
Reply
I used to. I didn’t purge as that’s expensive, but I could go for months at a time without dressing while my clothes stayed in my wardrobe. When I didn’t dress I think I was kidding myself I’d finally got over it.
After a marriage and a really long break from dressing, my femme side eventually came back stronger than ever. The only real difference in the way I “manage it” now is that I have accepted that this is who I am. Previous attempts to hide her away was because my femme side was a guilty secret I was ashamed of, but if you have a femme side, I don’t think it ever leaves you.
Just enjoy being Rachelle is the best advice I can give. She’s a part of who you are and I doubt she’s going away.
Yes I have been through phases on and off over the years which also got more intense. In the past I managed it (wrongly) by purging and then countering it by doing overly masculine things and hobbies, hoping it would sort me out. Such things as weight training, motorbikes and stereotypical male stuff.
This didn’t help. The only thing that did help was like chastity says finally trying to accept it yourself. I managed that by opening up to a counsellor who helped me understand a few things. As an added benefit it also helped with my bad sleeping, anxiety and depression as well
Don’t try to ‘manage’ or question it too much. Just go with what makes you happy and comfortable at the time.
Mine is strange as sometimes I go through months as femme and other times I can swap overnight for a day. This I don’t understand but I’m slowly learning the only way to be happy is to accept it, enjoy the moment and move on.
I’ve had this variable urge a few times.
There are weeks when I’m not bothered and happy to be male, then I desperately want to be female to some degree. Luckily my wife knows about Jenny and my children are too young to care (at this point), so I can slip into some shapewear or outerwear for an evening or afternoon.
My work also has me driving around and talking minimally if at all with people, so there have been a few days when I’ve been at work sporting a buxom figure or fancy underwear.
Got to be done carefully. If work outed me they’d make me LGBT liason or something (extra work, no extra pay :p ).
And then I aim, every 6 months or so, to have an evening/weekend out as Jenny, at some club or another.
It goes up and down, and varies a lot.