I’m off to a makeup artist in a few weeks but still not confident to go out – especially by myself. I’d love to go home made up (the focus is daytime makeup) on the train as me, rather than the male imposter that I normally do (very well).
I’m a size 18(ish) with a forty inch (ish) waist in corset , 44chest before boobs and 42hip. Legs are great, I’m just too heavy of I’m honest so need something to hide/balance that ‘anomaly’. I am loosing weight but it’ll be a while before I get thos sorted 🙄💋
I’d like to wear something feminine but ‘daytime’ – the 50s style dresses I prefer are not suitable for hiding in plain sight!
Maybe a choice of warm/dry or cold/damp outfit as we still don’t know if/when summer(spring) may begin 🙄💋
Any suggestions? Like many here I’m not a fan of trousers as I’ve spent my life in them.
(I have a selection of simple 4” heeled court shoes or some black ‘flats’ to go with the outfit )
I’m sure my sisters on here can help. 💋
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Well for a start I wouldn’t wear heels, very few casual women do, you need the practical flats.
It’s probably best to put together an outfit with a separate skirt and top, rather than a dress. This gives you more flexibility for your body shape. One that may work is to wear leggings together with a casual top – a rather long one that falls below the crotch.
The main problems are (a) not knowing what the weather will do, and (b) not knowing what’s already in your wardrobe.
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I totally agree about the shoes – strappy sandals probably called for. Your other suggestion sounds sensible too – I don’t have much of a wardrobe as I’m just getting back to me again so ‘all bets are off’ in that department x what kind of long casual top might work best do you think?
Thank you again
Isobel x
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Something loose, possibly that gathers at the waist. Check the last picture on my profile. You can get away with pretty much anything colour/pattern-wise if you keep the leggings black. Primark do wet-look leggings, they match lots of things, they sound slutty but aren’t.
Don’t be tempted to wear this style of top with a skirt, as you will end up with two horizontal boundaries below the waist, which will make your figure look awful.
I know you don’t want to wear trousers, but very soft informal (not creased) trousers are very useful in your wardrobe. Mine are from Roman and very silky.
If you’re going to wear sandals then the weather will have to be good, as you won’t be able to wear a coat or jacket, it would look silly.
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Ok, so a fairly long top (as in your last photo), black leggings and flats. When you say gathered at the waist what do you mean x?
Thank you
Isobel x
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Agee with Sarah that you will probably want to wear flats, or low heels, for a day out, rather than 4” heeled “night out” shoes. If you are not used to wearing high heels for some hours outside you will struggle.
From the sound of it you do have a few weeks. So, worthwhile having a look around at the dresses or skirt/top combos in the shops (or on-line) at the moment. Whilst trousers can be very femme and useful, I think you want to have your legs out a bit.
So look for skirts/dresses that are close to the knee, or below. To a certain extent, the issue with weather is dealt with by taking a jacket, or a coat, or not, so see what you have available for that.
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Take half an hour out in a town centre
and see what women similar to your size
and age group are wearing.
Looking at your profile picture you could
wear a bin liner and sill look fabulous!
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Thank you x
I do have a few weeks to look – I guess the options building up are
Leggings with a longish top gathered at the waist
Longer skirt – maybe with a loose-fitting top
Flats, or possibly sandals or low wedges
Jacket
Sadly, I have none of the above but at least I have a starting point
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Hey Isobel!
Sorry if you have already decided (and ordered things!) Just wanted to at least contribute!
I would wear jeans (probably skinny think more jegging type) a more flowy/baggy top that is cut out towards the bust (so it’s just obvious that it’s a woman top). If you can, try to produce a cleavage.
For shoes I would probably go with more feminine (flat) boots, you are traveling after all… Women tend to wear flats for shirt to medium walking in a casual work setting, and with the rough and tumble of travel they are *less* likely to wear them there.
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Office attire works well as a daytime look for me. White blouse and black skirt for example, or a black and white dress maybe? Add black tights and low heels or kitten heels and I’m good to go.
Is it what everyone who lives near to me wears? Maybe not. Is it what some people would wear in an office? Yes definitely, so although it’s not blending in with everyone else who lives where I do, it doesn’t look out of place either.
There is a difference between blending in and not looking out if place in my opinion.
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For me, it’s either a casual dress (I have a really nice boho style long sleeve navy floral one and a couple of plain knee-length long sleeve ones which always give me a nice calm casual feel when I’m wearing them) or a jumper/long sleeve top and knee length or below skirt (though I don’t recommend jumpers in hot weather obviously!) with a long coat over the top. Like yourself, it’s very rare that I wear trousers en femme as I feel I do enough of that in drab mode although I do have a couple of pairs of jeggings for when needed! As I’m 6’1, I never really go higher than kitten heels anyway as anything else tends to make me look like some sort of giraffe-woman so I’ll wear either those, flats or light coloured trainers (grey or white). I feel as though these make me feel suitably feminine but not too conspicuous!
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I get that … not quite sure what size jeans to get – stretch ones with a short zip at the bottom I think look nice – though I don’t know what size – 38” hips with slim legs??
As for a flowing top – I’ll have a look around ..l what do you mean cut out towards the chest? I don’t think I’ll be wearing a great plate just ‘plug ins/ons 😉
Thanks for your help
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Love the idea and thank you so much for the links – my fear is in my upper body – looking to bulky compared to my face/legs x
What do you wear under your dress – do you bother with thigh/bum pads and/or what do you put over it to finish the look. I have no jackets at the moment x
Thank you so much
Isobel x
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I get what you mean about vanishing into the walls vs being part of the room (another analogy :-))
Well it is Leeds city centre but I don’t know if I could carry off office attire – blouse/skirt – would that be a pencil skirt … I’m not sure that would suit my upper body but I probably need to try one one before making that call. I’d love to be able to go into Leeds a not be noticed (as long as I don’t open my mouth!!)
Cities can be more accommodating of difference but I need to gain the confidence to pull off more regular trips as ‘me’.
What types of skirts were you thinking of – I was just imaging the cliche pencil skirt?.
Thank you
Isobel x
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Yeah, either I’ll go with a suitably floaty dress where it doesn’t cling too much (aforementioned floral one is good for this!) or just some body shapers – I actually got a pair from Primark for a fiver a few years ago and they’ve lasted surprisingly well! Failing that, Spanx are pretty good for adding a bit of shape I’m led to understand.
In terms of a jacket, I’ll go for a long coat if it’s raining or my leather jacket if not – it’s the same one I wear in drab mode although I’d really like to get a more feminine looking one – I saw a really nice looking one in Sainsbury’s for £35 a few months ago but never quite got round to buying one. One of these days…
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Why do you think you couldn’t pull off office attire in a city? There are lots of offices in Leeds and some women will wear office attire.
Regarding skirts I have pencil skirts, long pleated skirts and mini skirts. They all look great as far as I’m concerned and all look the part although the long pleated skirt is probably slightly less the traditional office attire look.
It really is all about the whole outfit though rather than just the blouse and the skirt so layer up if you need. If I go out at the moment there’s a good chance I’ll wear a cardigan over my blouse as it’s still not that warm outside. A raincoat is also something that I will wear over the top at the moment. These extra layers can really help when you’re out and you will look the part if you’re dressed appropriately for the weather.
I’ve even worn the black mini skirt in the winter. White blouse, black mini skirt, black cardigan, ladies trench coat and knee boots actually worked ok when I was collecting my Christmas box from the butchers in December. It wasn’t raining so my coat was open and it looked great and drew zero attention from anyone. It’s all about the whole outfit rather than one or two individual pieces of clothing.
Don’t forget a brolly in your handbag either as you’ll need that at some point. A brolly can also help to hide you so if you feel more comfortable under a brolly, pray for rain then go out and enjoy your chances while you can. You’ll have plenty of chances at the moment!
In a city like Leeds I think office attire would actually be a better option than the town where I live. I think you’re probably about the same size as me so I reckon you could do the look quite easily.
Whatever look you go for, as long as it doesn’t look totally out of place then it’s really about owning your look and understanding that you have every right to go out and be who you want to be. I never thought I’d ever go outdoors years ago but I don’t give it a second thought now. Just seems natural.
If you want to do it then just go for it girl. Your profile pics look great so if you can get your make somewhere close to that yourself you’ll be fine. The makeover artist did a great job on you and has showed you what’s possible. A bit of practice with your slap and you’ll be good to go if that’s what you want xx
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Jeans can be particularly difficult so get in the right size.
Look at the website for a specific retailer, somewhere it will have a table showing what dimensions they say they use for different sizes. Measure yourself as well, trying to take measurements in the same places as the table suggest (often, helpfully, there is an outline of a figure to show where). Do not assume that all retailers use the same measurements for a specific size.
Then there is an element of trial and error. Some fabrics have more give than others, and sometimes the retailers don’t always follow their own sizing. Be prepared to take things back and try different sizes. With the covid restrictions I doubt that it will be possible to try garments on in store.
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Well, I finally got to go out dressed as me without chaperone, makeup team etc in tow.
I chose a sunny afternoon and initially wore a gorgeous maxi dress from LTS but ‘hid’ behind sunglasses as my eye makeup wasn’t great.
I went into my local town, walked around the mall and went into several supermarkets’/clothes shops etc. There was no ‘obvious’ reading thatI was trans so that gave me confidence.
I then went home, got changed into skinny jeans and a LTS long top and went out again!!
Got home only to realise I’d left my keys /indoors/ so was locked out in a shared house where I’m not yet ‘out’. Jeez – what the f**k??!! Fortunately I had some make gym gear in my car and was able to get changed and take my makeup off before seeking a housemate out to let me in! Phew :-)!
A great afternoon with a bit more excitement at the end than I was expecting!
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Sounds like your average Keighley woman to me, stompin’ down to the Boltmakers or Grinning Rat of old. 
I’m late to this party, but would repeat the simple people-watching tip.
Too often, it appears we fall into the same trap cis women fall into, namely feeling the need to appear like the gorgeous girls in the glossy mags, on TV (Hah!) and unsocial media.
Take a good look at the normal lasses and note that many are actually quite hefty, topside and there are plenty of taller women around.
Also look at the men and you’ll see that they also come in a wide variety of shapes and sizes.
(Of course, for all I know, I’m actually living in a town where 90% of the female population are trannies).
