Knowing that no jeans or cargo pants are allowed in the office, I’m left with two options… one; pull a sickie, or two; wear something suitable. I knew that my aunt would flat refuse to let me pretend to be sick and take the day off, which really gave me only one option. I figured that the shift dress was a little more conservative and a little less girlie than my short grey A line skirt. I wore it with a blouse and although she said I looked OK, Aunt Katinka wasn’t keen on the pointy collar. She loaned me one of her blouses which has a round collar, trimmed with a narrow band of lace. Once I had that on, Aunt Katinka was satisfied. I wasn’t so sure but with the clock ticking, I didn’t have time to try yet another blouse. I pulled the same tan tights I’d worn on Saturday up my legs, and slipped my feet in to my loafers. I checked my reflection and couldn’t believe that I had to go to work like this. “What are people going to think!?” I feared. Then after a moment’s thought and staring at myself, I realised that they’re not going to think anything they don’t already think about me. At least with the shift dress on, they can’t see my bra through my blouse… and the one my aunt has loaned me is far more see-through than any of my others, even the outline of my arms can be plainly seen through its long sheer sleeves. As inappropriate as my attire is, it’s the best I’ve got under the circumstances. I pushed my arms through my jacket sleeves and hunched it on to my shoulders. I picked up my handbag and had a long hard stare at myself. “You’d better hurry if you don’t want to be late.” my aunt advised. “Have you got a spare pair of tights?” she asked, glancing at my legs. I hadn’t, but didn’t have the time to worry about such trivial matters. “You need spare tights William!” my aunt told me, before going to fetch me a pack.
I opened my handbag and rummaged around, panicking that I’d lost the USB stick which held the small amount of work I’d done last night. I found it just as my aunt returned. “Thanks.” I gulped as she gave me a brand new pack of tights. I put them in my handbag along side my sandwich and zipped it shut.
Before I left, my aunt put her hands on my shoulders and looked me square in the eye. “Be confident William… you belong in that office.”
“I will.” I replied, gulping and forcing a smile.
I turned and took a deep breath before opening the front door and stepping into the outside world. It’s by no means the first time I’ve stepped out of my aunt’s front door wearing a dress, but it’s the first time I’ve done it as an adult and the first time I’ve done it alone.
I certainly turned some heads as I walked to work that morning, much more than usual. I don’t think it was so much the dress itself, but the combination of that and my loafers… they really didn’t go! I made the mistake of glancing at my reflection as I passed a large shop window and realised just what is turning all those heads… it’s not my ill-matched footwear or my corporate frock, nor is it my feminine black jacket or leatherette handbag, as perched on top of everything is my unmistakeably male head. I’d have felt better if I’d gone the whole hog and worn make-up and maybe a wig too… but I know nothing about make-up and so far as I know, Aunt Katinka doesn’t have any wigs.
In a way my clothing is the least of my worries on this overcast Wednesday. I’m behind at work and got little done at home, meaning I’ve got my work cut out for me if I’m going to get yesterday’s task completed by lunchtime. No matter which way I look at it, today isn’t going to be a good day. I tried to be confident as I stepped into the office. The women coed, some clapped and some laughed. The men snorted and sneered, some threw me looks that might kill whilst others made a point of not looking at all.
“Be brave.” I told myself as I walked towards my desk, past the stares and sneers with my head held high. I plonked my handbag on my desk, removed my jacket and slung it over the back of my chair before smoothing my frock and sitting down. I decided that the best course of action would be to act as if all is normal, as if I always wear a frock for work, almost as if I’m one of the girls. I certainly feel like one… kind of. I suppose it’s easy for me to imagine I’m a woman as from my point of view, I can’t see my head. “OK, maybe I’m not one of the girls.” I said to myself as my computer booted up. “But maybe they will accept me in time.” I mused as I sat my handbag on my lap. I focused on my manicured and polished finger nails as I pulled the zip open. I glanced at my knees, clad in 10 denier tan tights and wondered if I could ever get used to this as I rummaged for my USB stick. I plugged it in and waited for the operating system to scan its contents before I could get on with playing catch up. “What?!” I said, before hitting the Escape key a few times, then Control, Alt & Delete. The screen went dark and in the centre is an alert window with the words “Access Suspended” I hammered Escape, tried and failed to open the task manager, hit Control, Alt and Delete a few more times… all to no avail. My initial fear was that I’d transferred a virus from my USB stick, but I’m more savvy than that. I removed the USB stick and began to panic. I glanced up and noticed Josephine marching towards me.
“Mr Mason’s office please William.” she said in a stern voice. “And bring that with you.” she added, staring directly at the USB stick in my hand
“I was just about to get someone… my PCs locked me out.” I said as I pushed my chair back and stood up.
She looked me up and down as if looking at something on her shoe. “Mr Mason’s office… now!” she spat. I gulped and began to move. “And bring your handbag.” she instructed, somehow making ‘handbag’ sound like a dirty word.
I stepped back and grabbed my bag before following her to the end of the large open plan office. It felt like all eyes were on me as we headed to Rick’s glass fronted office at the far end.
I had a strong feeling I was in trouble as my line manager has never been referred to as Mr Mason before, it’s always been Rick or Richard. It’s either a problem with my USB stick or the fact that my assignment is late… or both… I figured. Maybe I’m not allowed to wear a dress, I wondered as I stepped into his office.
“Sit.” Rick sternly instructed. I sat with my handbag on my lap, keeping my knees together. “Well I’m sure you know what all this is about.” he said to me.
“I don’t.” I claimed. “My PC locked me out and Josephine told me come and see you.” I told him. I was about to ask if my attire is unacceptable, but Rick began to tell me exactly what the issue is. I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. The last thing I expected was to be accused of stealing confidential company information and he wasn’t at all impressed with my explanation. He asked if he could see the personal storage device I’d used to ‘steal’ the data, so I passed it to him as I reiterated that I’d ‘stolen’ nothing.
Josephine suggested they searched my handbag too, and that was emptied on to his desk. It contains a sandwich wrapped in cling film, a spare pair of tights and the pink umbrella my aunt insisted I need but have never had to use. From the various side pockets they removed my mobile phone, my house keys and my wallet, along with a bundle of till receipts, mostly from Mason’s Lingerie. He looked disgusted as he perused the receipts from his own mother’s lingerie shop, and then went on to accuse me of using the office to indulge in my bizarre fantasies. “I mean… what are you?” he asked in a completely perplexed tone of voice. “You dress in women’s clothing yet you don’t wear make-up. You wear a bra but don’t have a bust.” he added, staring at my flat chest. “You’re not exactly a transsexual or a transvestite are you?”
I hung my head and shook it.
He told me to put my things back in my handbag, “…but this we’ll keep hold of this for the time being…” he said, taking hold of my USB drive, “…pending an investigation.”
“What?” I peeped.
Rick reiterated that they have good reason to believe that I’ve stolen company information on a number of occasions, and that my USB stick is evidence. “But it’s not the only evidence we have.” he added. “Normally you’d be suspended until this is all sorted out.” he told me. “But since you’ve only been with us a month and…” he sneered at me in my entirety, “…looking at you…” he snarled, “…I think the best course of action is to terminate your employment, effective immediately.”
“But…” I gulped.
“But nothing.” he said in no uncertain terms. He picked up my empty handbag and slammed it down on my side of his desk. “Pack your things and leave.”
I’ve never felt so humiliated as I bundled my girlie umbrella, sandwich and spare tights back in to my bag. I fiddled and faffed with the pockets I kept my phone and keys in, before impatiently bunging them in the main compartment. I couldn’t speak. I just looked at the faces around me, each one of them casting me a disapproving gaze as I picked up my hand bag and turned to the door.
“I’ll escort him out.” Josephine said, before following me into the main office. Everyone stopped what they were doing and watched as I walked shamefully to my desk to collect my jacket. They all stared in silence as I was escorted to the elevator and eventually all the way to the pavement. I said nothing to Josephine as I stepped outside. I just walked, determined not to look back.
I wanted to burst in to tears but managed not to. The sky was as gloomy as my mood, and noticing a few drops of rain begin to fall on the paving slabs, I paused, dug my hand into my handbag and removed the as yet unused umbrella. With its pale pink cover and being compact enough to fit in a handbag, it’s clearly a woman’s umbrella. My heart sank as it popped open. A pale pink canopy, peppered with white butterflies emerged in front of me. I looked up at the sky, raised the brolly above my head and sighed at the frilly lace trim the encircled it.
“You want to zip that up love, or you’ll get robbed.” an elderly female voice said. I tore my gaze from the pinkness above me and looked at an old woman stood right by me. “Your handbag.” she added.
I looked down at my open bag and saw my wallet and the pack of tights sticking out of it. “Oh, er… thanks.” I mumbled as I struggled to zip up my handbag and hold my umbrella. I looked at the old lady and smiled, but she recoiled and made a sort of ‘eugh’ noise, before quickly scurrying off. I guess she thought I was a woman until I opened my mouth. I managed to zip up my bag and headed back to my Aunt Katinka’s house with the heaviest heart. I’m dreading what she’ll say. I anticipate a chirpy “You’re home early!” or an inquisitive, “What have you forgotten?” I expect she’ll be just as shocked as I am when I tell her that I’ve been sacked on the spot for stealing company data.
I weighed up my options as I sauntered through the drizzle. Somehow I can’t see me being given a reference after being sacked, which will make finding my next job a little trickier. I suppose I could return to Haversham, but having given up my apartment and job there… I’d be in much the same boat as I am here… well, not quite… at least I wouldn’t have to be petticoated if I returned to my home town. Maybe there is a silver lining to this dark and thundery cloud? I optimistically wondered.
