What should have been one of the most enjoyable nights of the year left me feeling utterly miserable. At school the next day it was one of the most memorable nights of the year for a reason I tried my best to deny. No one believed that I’d spilt cola over myself, and the few that did see my wet pants embellished the story considerably. As far as most of my class were concerned, I’d wet myself at the firework display because the loud bangs scared me, then I went home crying like a girl, holding my mummy’s hand. Of course I denied it, but failed to convince anyone as I’d made a pigs ear of an excuse as to why we’d left so hastily. Kids can be so cruel sometimes, I learned. The next day was worse because one of the big bullies cornered me because I’d shoved one of his minions for calling me ‘pissy knickers’. I thought he was going to headbut me as he got right up close to me. I looked up fearfully at his ugly mug as he started to pour a bottle of fizzy pop over my crotch. I didn’t even realise until it was too late. He ran off laughing and I ran to the toilets where I managed to dry my pants as best I could using the hand dryer, but a noticeable stain remained. Everyone claimed I’d wet myself again and no one wanted to believe the truth.
“How’s your day been?” Mother asked when I got home. “Oh dear…. they’ll soon forget when they’ve found a new drama to occupy their silly little minds.” she said when I told her that they keep teasing for what happened at the fireworks display. She stepped back and looked down at my crotch when I told her about the prank that had been played on me. “Well they’ll have to go in the wash.” she said. I went to my room to change. Mother followed. Since she has a rule which states that my brother and I wear our school uniform until we’ve finished our homework… Mother told me to put some clean school pants on. But since it was Friday, they were all in the wash. “Oh just a minute!” she said as if a light had switched on in her mind. She popped out and returned a minute later with a plastic carrier bag.
“What’s in there?” I sheepishly asked.
“Well…” Mother said as she placed it on my bed and opened it. “…you remember when Veronica’s Mother brought some of Veronica’s old clothes round for Sonia?” she said as she rummaged through layers of folded fabric. I do remember, because one of Veronica’s old dresses now hangs in my wardrobe. “Here it is.” Mother said as she lifted out a very very familiar looking item. “I know it’s too big for Sonia but it should fit you.” Mother smiled as she unfolded a plaid pinafore dress.
“Oh mu-um.” I gulped.
“Oh Mu-um.” Mother teased. “It’s a school uniform… what’s the problem?”
“It’s a girl’s uniform!”
“Not at Sonia’s school it isn’t.” she reminded me.
“But I don’t go to Sonia’s school.” I moaned. I knew it was futile because once Mother’s got her heart set on something, she really won’t back down. The pinafore went over my head and over my shirt and rested on my shoulders. I looked down at it and it was short, very short and left me feeling very exposed. Mother said she’d fetch me a pair of knee socks and headed out the door. “Can I wear tights instead?” I asked in a low, mournful voice.
Mother said that I didn’t need tights for sitting in the kitchen. “I think knee socks look nicer anyway.” she added.
I could barely believe that I was actually wearing the Malham Hall school uniform. But the evidence was all around me. When Mother returned with a pair of Vincent’s knee socks, I asked “How come this is called a pinafore but it’s nothing like my other piny?”
Mother explained that my piny is a traditional pinafore, (meaning ‘pinned to the front’) and in the olden days was worn over your clothes to help keep them clean, and this is a modern pinafore dress, worn over a shirt or blouse. “In America they call this kind of dress a ‘jumper’.” she added as I pulled the socks up my legs.
“What do they call a proper jumper then?” I asked.
“Erm… a jersey I think.” Mother guessed. She smiled at me and said, “Come on, homework.”
