It has been another rotten day. School was a nightmare as usual. I am perhaps the only boy anywhere in school that is always mistaken for a girl at first glance. It has caused me no end of torment and has caused me to be beaten repeatedly by the school’s psychopathic Bullies.

I have returned home with another black eye and a really bloody nose. Mom and dad are furious. Dad is mad at me for not fighting back and he hits me too. Mom doesn’t like that, but defers to him because this is a man thing. He even calls me a sissy and other names all the other boys have called me. I am almost wishing I were dead. Mom has called the school and the police.

There is more shame and humiliation as we again go to the principal’s office and mom files yet another complaint with the principal. This time, one of the boys are arrested for assault and battery. This only causes more shame and humiliation to be heaped on me by the rest of the students. I get called even more names. The torment gets even worse. He is now going to be waiting for me after he gets out of jail. I am not looking forward to that day.

I have started skipping PE. I have no interest in the type of thing those idiots try to do to me. I have no interest in foot ball or boxing or any of the other Manly things they are insisting I do. I am not interested in getting beaten in the shower again either.

I cannot help how I look. I have no interest in any of the sports the other boys do. I am interested in Homec class. It is perhaps the highlight of my day. I am the only boy in it and the girls all accept me and are really great. I do really well. I am also very good in creative writing and art class. My Art teacher is really impressed with my drawings.

I am finally alone in my room. I have had my shower. All my home work is done. I sit.

I have taken one of my mom’s baby doll night gowns and hidden it under a drawer in my room. I take it out and put it on. It is slightly large, but it still fits well enough. I look at myself in the mirror. Even with my hair cut the way it is, if someone were to walk in on me, they would think I was a girl at first glance. Maybe even second and third.

I think to myself that there has been some cosmic mistake. I feel tears welling up. I am truly miserable with my life. I contemplate suicide. I cannot take much more abuse.

I start to cry. I lay across the bed and sob in my pillow. I wish I had never been born.

I don’t know when I fell asleep, but it did release me from another day of misery and torment.