I was planning on legging it down the stairs and, providing the front door was unlocked, to the street outside. But since my grandmother stood on the landing effectively blocking my path, I went into the bathroom, followed by my brother Peter. The bath was already full of fragrant bubbles. Of course, we begged and pleaded and promised we’d be good as we slowly peeled off our clothes. I can’t speak for my brother, but part of me was certain it was all pretence… “surely dressing boys as girls is child abuse?” I thought as my grandmother scrubbed me clean with a big pink sponge. Mum did the same to Peter. We weren’t strangers to sharing a bath, but being scrubbed like little kids was less than desirable. After shampooing and rinsing our hair, we were ejected from the tub and mercilessly towel dried. “What’s this for?!” I said as we coughed and spluttered a fine white talcum powder out of our mouths.

“It makes your skin feel nice and soft.” mum said as she dabbed my body with the fluffy pink applicator. “Like the skin of a princess.”

“It stinks.” Peter moaned as Granny covered him in talcum powder too

“Well we can’t have our princesses smelling like boys can we?” Granny said.

Soon, we were being marched naked into our bedroom. It was like seeing it for the first time all over again. The mural of the fairy tale castle on the wall was by far the best bit… mostly because it wasn’t pink with pictures of the Disney princesses all over it, unlike our pillow cases and duvet covers.

“Now there’s a nappy and a nightie under your pillows,” Mum said.

“What?” I yelped. “Even girls don’t wear nappies!”

“No, but petticoated boys do.” mum replied. “Now I bought you both pull on ones because you’re not babies… but if you act like babies, we’ll just have to put you in proper babies nappy instead.”