I know how fascinated I was to see others get the strap and I presume others watched me with the same morbid interest. Maybe most looked on it purely as a punishment, but I can’t have been alone in my classes in feeling what I did.
I remain confused about my feelings and somehow guilty that I have never been able to relinquish my interest in a taboo topic like this. At the time I hated the pain and humiliation, but was fascinated (dare I say, sometimes even enjoyed?) seeing others punished, but have no desire to feel the strap ever again.
As is obvious from my interest in this subject, I have been ‘marked’ by the strap psychologically as well as physically.