These were feelings of constant anxiety that lasted for a very long time. I can remember feeling the anxiety during the night and I was a child that often could not sleep. I can remember feeling very fearful of this terrible place called school.
The next incident that I can clearly recall was probably more devastating. This time Miss Collin decided I deserved the strap. When she meted out this punishment it was a ritual. On this occasion she ordered me out into the cloakroom. I was ordered to stand behind the door there. While standing behind that door I heard the whole class clapping. It was great to them, that I was being given this treatment. It is difficult to describe the feeling I experienced but I seem to remember ‘closing down’.