Fortunately for me, for a long time Mum was under the impression that she would be warned each and every time I was smacked in school.

Had she known my teachers had put me across their knee,

I would have been certain of a further smacking from my mother,

so through this assumption, I escaped a lot of sore bottoms at home!

This run of luck abruptly ended one day when Mum came to collect me from school after our Saturday morning lessons (this was common practice in France for many years).

I was enjoying a childish argument with a classmate while both our mothers chatted to each other.

I was mocking my friend’s recent clumsiness in a football game, and said:

“At least I know how to score a penalty kick!”

To which he immediately shot back: